Fat and Feminine

2011-09-05T17:00:00.000-04:00

For a long time now I have felt literally subhuan because of the way that I look. Try as I might to accept the HAES pov, I just have not been able to believe that anyone ever saw e as anything other than a fat slob who, on occasion, might be able to put together a decent wardrobe.

So I don't know what to make of a recent story.

Not to long ago I was at a party for someone I love. I took the same level of care with my clothing and makeup as I would for any formal, special event. I even put in my contacts.

As a part of the party the guests were asked to provide the entertainment. Not being one for singing or dancing, I went with what I know- I wrote a poem. Even I will admit that I thought the poem was pretty good, but I figured it would end at that.

I come from a family of beautiful people, and generally prefer to hide in the background as much as possible, so as soon as I was finished I gave the guest of honour a hug and sat back down at my table.

Shortly thereafter another guest, one who I would consider among the most beautiful of the beautiful people and I were chatting. "You know," she said to me "when you were standing up there reading that poem with the light on you, I realized I must have never really looked at you before. You have such a beautiful face".

And there is it folks. Because of who it came from I am taking it as a complement, but that line "you have such a beautiful face" just screams the internal thought "if only you would lose the weight." I got the exact same comment a few days later from someone else.

Was it just that normally I hide behind my glasses and everyone around me and this is one of the only times I stood there on my own apart from everyone else- I would love to believe it and am really trying- but wasn't that also true on my wedding day? No one said anything then. Was it that I was speaking from my heart to someone I truly love? Also would have been true on my wedding day.

So why now? Why now when I feel worse about myself than I ever have in my entire life. I feel ugly and sad and broken. The compliment was amazing- made me feel like flying for a little while- but the more I go through time as a sadder me, the more people seem to be attracted to me than they ever were to the happy me.

I think it's back

2010-09-04T21:25:00.001-04:00

I think the cyst is back and I am terrified to go to a doctor about it. Great. Now what?

Really, that doctor was so helpful...

eta. made an appointment with a dermatologist. Hope he is not a creep.

Doctors

2010-06-02T12:37:00.000-04:00

I generally avoid doctors at all costs. I have found that, regardless of whether I have a hangnail or a broken arm, the answer I get generally involves "well, you need to lose weight".

Ok, firstly, no kidding. I am fat. Do you really think that all I needed was for you to point it out to me? Oh my gosh, I never noticed, thank you so much! I am going to go lose 10,000 lbs overnight and then you can treat the problem tomorrow when I come back all nice and skinny okay?

Secondly, do you really think that is how you can be most helpful?

So now that you have the background.

I woke up Thursday with a huge lump on my shoulder. Being me, I figured I did not need to see anyone, it was just a bump and it would go away. By Friday it was a bump that hurt. Saturday it was so bad I actually called to book a doctor's appointment for later in the week. first one I could get with my doctor was for Thursday.

Ok, I could hold out to then.

Woke up sunday morning and could not turn my head. Called the doctors office and asked to see someone, anyone, ASAP. They got me in to see a new doctor in the practice for later that afternoon.

now, this story is not about her. Truth be told, I like her and will likely keep using her as I like her more than my old doctor, and since she is new it is way faster to get an appointment. No this is the story of a different set of doctors. 2 sets in fact.

She sent me to the emergency room. I got there, checked in and went to the nurse. Everything was fine except for the fact that I had really high blood pressure. Now, I know from experience that my blood pressure has always been on the low end. I am fat, I am not hypertensive. Well, I was for like 2 days once infection set in before my daughter was delivered, but generally no infection, no high blood pressure.

I spent the rest of my er visit hearing about the my high blood pressure (even though the nurse also told me that if I knew it to be irregular than it probably was from infection/pain and to just have it taken again after just to be sure). So, not related to anything to do with why I was there the doctors order blood sugars taken. Of course, if one is fat one MUST be diabetic. Funny, although they did say it was high for fasting- I WAS NOT FASTING! I had eaten a yogurt and had some juice less than an hour earlier.

Ok, they drained the cyst. I told them I was pretty sure there was still junk in there, but they told me I was wrong. Bandaged it so tightly I could not move my head, shoulder or neck and it was causing more pain than the cyst, and sent me home.

Went to the nurse the next day to change the dressing. Seriously, 2/3 of the pain went away the minute she put on a normal dressing not pulled tight enough to create a slingshot. she took my blood pressure as requested. It was still above normal, but had dropped 30 ish points from the night before. she took that as a sign it was pain related. Cleaned the wound and whatnot, re bandaged it and let me go.

Ok, last night it really started to hurt again. A lot. Went back to my doctor who said it was not fully drained (can you say "I told you so"?) and sent me back to the ER.

Triage said blood pressure was high (but not as high as the first night), but other than that no problem. They are putting me in to see an orthopedic surgeon. Why orthopedic? No idea, but that is what they did. Told me it would be about 15 minutes. an hour and 45 minutes later I saw the orthopedic surgeon long enough to have him rip off the bandage, poke it a bit, tell me not his problem, then watch him go yell at a nurse.

I am no in more pain than I was when I came in, have no clean bandage, and am at the bottom of the list for a regular surgeon.

Regular surgeon comes in. you need bariatric surgery. What is the problem today. Oh, a cyst is because you are fat. you need a lap band. Lie down so I can clean this out.

While he was cleaning it out, he was going on about how I NEED it done. I said I am working on things with my own doctor. He laughed. I said (while face down with him having a scalpel in my back) can we talk about this later? He said no. Now. I need ot make sure you hear it.

Like I said, I am fat. I know I am fat. Is it an option? Certainly- and maybe one that should be considered, but this is neither the time nor the place! He demanded we make an appointment at his office for Monday- allegedly to look in on the wound, but I am nearly 1000000000000% sure I know better. Unless there is a major problem, I will go to my own doctor and cancel the one I was forced into in another city!d not slept in for longer than 20 minutes at a shot in almost a week.

Oh, did I mentioned he also told me outright I was lying and he rarely thinks patients are right when I said I was not over concerned about a high ish blood pressure while I was in mass amounts of pain and ha

I am furious. Not for being told I am fat- that is not really a secret, but for being held in a literal headlock while he told an otherwise healthy patient that she needs major surgery! If I consider it, it will be after discussion with my doctor to see if it is the right option. If I do it, it will not be because someone held me in a headlock until I agreed.

This is why I rarely go see a doctor even when I am in pain and probably should. I have no idea how he thought this would help, but if not for a good GP I would likely stay away from a doctor next time I need one based on today.

A short Video on my studio

2010-03-31T06:17:00.000-04:00

Flying

2010-03-16T05:30:00.000-04:00

So when we started looking into tickets to visit family this summer I asked our travel agent to be sure we were looking at "fat-friendly" airlines. Would you believe he had no idea what i was talking about and says he had never heard of an airline charging for more than once seat per passenger.

Naive agent or has the issue really just not come to Europoe/Asia yet?

A question from a forum I frequent

2010-03-15T10:04:00.000-04:00

A question was recently posed on an internet forum that I frequent "Do ugly people know they are ugly". I did not reply there, but in my head my answer was "Yes we do." No I am not saying all fat people are ugly, but I feel like I am. If I were to lose all my weight I am pretty sure I would still not be attractive.

Someone posted that the only truly ugly people they know are ugly on the inside, and that maybe it was just cases of the outside reflecting the inside. I certainly hope that is not true. While I might not be pretty, I would hate to think it was because I was also an awful person!

Touring the country

2009-12-27T05:51:00.002-05:00

For a country ful of gorgeous people, it is amazing how comfortable travel around these parts can be. I have never, not once, found a situation or seat that was not usable. I am constantly surrounded by people who seem to take their own bodies, and high and low points there of, in stride. It is entirely normal to see a woman with a tummy in a short or tight (or both) shirt and low ride pants with totally kick @$$ heels. Bus seats, train seats, movie seats- seriously, if you are looking for a comfortable vacation Israel is the place to visit.

Not around much

2009-12-27T05:49:00.001-05:00

I know I have not exactly been an avid posted on this or any other blogs I have been involved with- but out of curiosity, is there anyone actually reading this blog or even keeping it on their blog watches? I am thinking of revitalizing it and am not sure if it is worth the bother. On the other hand, I do so love the background on this one it would be a shame to let it go to waste.

United Airlines

2009-04-20T13:14:00.005-04:00

So United Airlines has become the latest in the line of airlines who plan to charge fat fliers for a 2nd seat.

Based on their criteria, is you need a more than one extended (I don't) or can't put the arm rest down (I can) or fill part of another a seat you will be forced to get a 2nd seat. If none is available you will not be allowed to fly.

Thankfully, Canada has the one person one fare policy. Not so thankfully, nowhere else on the planet does.

when my extended family went away last year the travel agent made my grandmother buy two seats for me. Did I use two? Nope. did I get two? Nope. Did my grandmother get any money back? Nope. Did the airline ask any questions? Nope.

Frankly, thought I have never ever for a day in my life wanted to be, I am fat (anyone who says "so do something about it" can go !@#$%^. I only wish it were that easy). Although I am sure people beg to differ, have never had problems flying (Although I live in dread for weeks ahead of time every time I need to fly that I will be humiliated in public as I look like I should need two, but carry my weight in such a way I never have). I fly with my husband and daughter who combined probably do not fill a single seat- so if they have no issue, should you 3 or 4 or five seats away?

Have you seen some of the comments on these stories? They are repugnant and an completely inappropriate for dealing with any other living being, let alone a human one! Many of these people are outright discriminating and these are the people who are going to decide if I need to spend an extra $1400 to go visit my family?

The article says they received over 700 complaints last year. Do the math. Let's guess 10 flights a day (although I am pretty sure it is well more than that) and say 200 people on a flight (although again I suspect the number is actually much higher). So 2000 people a day, times 365 days a year is 73000 people. So less than 1% of people had issues.

Now how many people do you think complained about other things that are not being touched? how many complained about the lack of legroom? The lousy food? A screen not working? I was on a flight last year where my entire group, 30+ people complained about the screens not working on one flight. How many complaints were about 1 person who may have been a real problem on a plane?

I will agree that it is unfair to sit practically on top of someone for the entire flight, but frankly, if you are going to start enforcing that than other changes need to be made as well. I have spent flights with babies who are not mine practically in my lap for the whole flight. I have spent flights with adults or children who have fallen asleep on my shoulder and seem to be incapable of moving. I have spent time on flights with people who have bad knees and spent the whole time stretching into "my leg space". If they are going to enforce a "pay for what you use" policy they need to be more uniform about doing so.

If someone does buy 2 seats, are they entitled to double the luggage? Twice the meals? Twice the service? If it is being treated as a disability are people to get the other services offered to the disabled? Prime seating areas? First choice of seats?

People are so friggen' blind when it comes to discrimination. If it is not an obvious discrimination with which they do not agree, you can make up all sorts of excuses to allow anything.

The following is a facebook conversation with the other person's name removed so as to protect their privacy. For reference sake, a kupah is socialized healthcare that exists in this country. Every citizen pays a portion (4 something %) towards the cost of keeping it running, and every citizen is entitled to make use of it.

The thread was started by someone genuinely (I think) interested in a discussion about whether this was a good tihng or not. His title was

Is it a crime to be fat? with a link to this article http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2009/04/united_oversize.php (and the horrible comments therein.

(I am removing non related to the dialogue comments) I am in italics just to make it easier ot read. The conversation is slightly out of order as I was responding to post on the site before they came in to my in box and vice versa I am certain. I am sure she is well versed in her field and knowledgable, but to my mind the prejudice holds just the same. To tell me that in a socialist system, where everybody is equal, except some are substantially less equal- that I have issues with. As I said, I agree that airplanes are a seperate issue, but to tell me I am less worthy of medical care even though I am not using the resources she claims I am? to tell me I am different from others becuase I am not dead? This is where I have major issues.

Her

I want to preface my comment by saying that while I obviously have some strong opinions on the health status of the morbidly obese, I don't judge them as people. But yes, being that heavy (what the medical profession would term seriously obese to morbidly obese) is a lifestyle choice - obviously not everyone (myself included) can be a size 6. But no one's genetic makeup *forces* them to be a size 3X. One may be predisposed to be heavier, but diet and exercise (other lifestyle choices) can bring you down to a much healthier weight.
In terms of "eating up" resources in the kupat holim. The kupat holim is just that - a joint kuppah. Each person pays 4.8% of their salary in bituach briut, which in turn gets distributed amongst the kupot holim based on the number of members. It is a fact that the seriously obese have far greater risk of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease - which are all costly illnesses and have costly outcomes.

Me

Sorry, but if it is for everyone, than everyone share alike. Being fat may lead to certain complication, but many other lifestyle issues lead to high risks in other areas. Beach bums lead to skin cancer. Chareidi lifestyle leads to vitamin D deficiencies and thus various cancers, as well as to higher pregnancy rates. Who are you to say "fat" is any worse than any of the others? Like I said, I am a whole lot healthier than many of my tiny friends.

Her

...since there is a finite amount of money in the kupah, and it has to be used to meet all the needs of its members, when money is spent on diabetes, blood pressure, etc., there is less money to spend on other things (birth control, cancer medications, etc.). I just think that being seriously obese serves no one's greater interest and if people who were that obese (along with smokers) knew they'd be in a kupat holim where they'd have to either lose weight or pay the price, it might be a good incentive. lets say that there are 6 million citizens and 600 million shekels (just to make a nice number) in the collective kupah coffers. maccabi has one million people, so it would get 100 million NIS, meuhedet had 2 million ppl so it would get 200 million, and so on. lets say of the one million maccabi members 250,000 are obese and 70% have expensive obesity related illnesses. Lets say each obese person costs the kupah 200 NIS per year in diabetes care (its way more) - that 35 million spent

Me

and again, how is that different from any of the other lifestyles I listed? The person who spends hours on a beach, or had a huge number of children?

Her

that's my whole point - obesity (and again, smoking) related illnesses do not share alike when it comes to the kupat holim - they require a disproportionate amount of funds to treat the issues, leaving markedly less for other things. the higher pregnancy rates and the 10 kids disprove your point. that brings 10 more peopel (and thus that much more money) into the kupah.

Me

by your definition everyone must spend equal ammounts of time in the sun, equal amounts of time out of the sun, have the same number of children, work in jobs with the same potential for injury, etc.

so you are saying that because I am staying alive and not breeding regularly I end up costing the kupah more? There are loads of other things I am not doing that are not costing the kupah anything. By your logic, people who are more active should never be allowed to be so as they might injure themselves, stay alive, and need treatment indefinitely- or they should be forced into their own kupah.

Her

and yes, certain lifestyle choices bring inherent risk (and inherent cost) with them, but none on as great a scale or as wide a cost as obesity and smoking. 90% of adults have vitamin D deficiency because they spend most of the day working.

if obesity didn't cost the kupat holim so much money, then why do they fund gastric bypass surgery for anyone over a certain BMI? because its cheaper for the health system to pay for that surgery then to pay for the associated costs of a lifetime of obesity.

i think you're missing the point of a kupat holim - its to spread the risk equally and evenly, and when you have a cetain demogrpahic of people using a grossly disproportionate amount of the resources, that makes a lot less resources for the rest of the people. obviously there can't be a kupah for cancer-free, illness-free, sick-free people. that isn't the point. but like the airplane seat analogy, if someone takes up more than his/her alloted seat, that means one other person is going to get less than his/her allotted seat. in your case, you have a spouse who takes up less and would happily share hiss eat with you, so that's great. but not everyone has that. why should I be "penalized" and get less than a full seat because I'm sitting next to someone who chooses to be obese? same goes for the kupah...why shoudl I get less services because so many people choose to be obese?

Me

No one on as a large a scale? In what world? We are no larger a segment of society than the 90% you listed above! The fact that it is super common does not make it any more problematic.

I am very glad you are not in the position to understand. Really, I would not wish the hateful things I have heard on anyone- but to say we are less worthy of being alive (see your comments above where you were pretty clear that part of the difference that makes it so much worse is that we continue to need treatment rather than ceasing to exist!) seems rather inappropriate don't you think?

If a child is born with severe, life affecting disabilities, would you have them uninsured or not saved at birth? And there are huge risks associated with it.

And they do not fund it as you described.

And there are huge risks associated with it. You would have someone go through major surgery, under anesthetic, so you can have a more comfortable seat on a plane?

where is an example of you getting less services? Each gets what they need? If god forbid you are injured that does not mean I begrudge you getting the services you need. As I said, currently the only thing I am "taking" from the kupah is my daughters strep throat medicine. In 30 years I am rarely sick, have 0 issues and presume most people take more tan I do from the kupah.

What does bother me is skinny people who think that just because I am fat means that I have less right to regular treatment than they do. If you were to one day see me sitting in the kupah waiting for, oh, I don't know, a strep test, I am 100% sure you would think about how much "extra" I am taking from the kupah- regaurdless of whether you have the slightest knowledge of my or not.

I could have never been there before in my life and you would jump to the conclusion because I am fat.

Her

the disabled child didn't do anything to be born that way - its not a lifestyle choice. i think you are misunderstanding - i'm not saying someone deserves to die because they're fat, and nor did I even insinuate that. my point exactly about the 90% thing - the obese use a larger amount of resources without being that large a percent of society.

I think i am goign to end this discussion because you don't seem capable of not taking this to the wrong level. I didn't say that anyone should be forced to have gastric bypass - simply using it as an example of how much obesity costs the healthcare system. the best option would obvisouly to diet and exercise to a healthy weight.

although you claim to be happy and healthy with your weight, your comments indicate otherwise

Me

Where in the world did I say I was happy with the situation? Please learn to argue the facts as presented.

Her

you can't be 100% sure of anything about me...you have no idea what i weigh, what i have weighed or what i think about heavy people.

Me

as you took my comments, so I took yours. As you see my picture, so I see yours. Based on what you have written and how you have presented yourselves you are right, I can not be 100% sure, but I can certainly presume, (especially as you said it outright!) that you believe fat people, and smokers, should be in a separate kupah (inferring they have no place in yours).

Her

i merely am saying that it would be cost-effective for obese people to be in their own kupah - and yes, cost-effective for the non obese. and if all the obese were in a separate kupah, the money spent on the obesity related care may not leave enough for you to get your strep test! i'm glad you haven't suffered from any of the typical obesity related illnesses, but you are only 30 plus and I'm sorry to say, the odds are not in your favor. and please don't misconstrye that as a threat or a nasty comment. I'm simply saying you need to look at the lifetime, not the youth.

Me

How would it be cost effective. a % of a paycheck is a % of a paycheck. Believe me the only threat I see from you is the fact that someone may one day listen to you and I will then be thrown out if I show up for a strep test. The odds are never in my favour. They were not in my favour when I was in school at a mathy place and wanted to study arts. They were not in my favour when I was a fat kid and started dating. They were seriously not in my favour when I wanted to move to Israel and was flat broke- fortunatly I put my trust in God and not in people who point out the odds.

I am frusterated and sad the soemone in the health care field should be willing to say to my face (well, my avatar picture) that I am a problem for the kupah becuase I am staying alive. I have a huge problem with the fact she thinks other areas are acceptable risks, and would have me go through major surgery so her seat on the plane could be more comfortable. I am severely pissed that I know there are loads of people like her out there and they are the reason that I am scared to leave the house half of the time- and truly aggravated with myself that I let people like this get to me.

Feel free to comment away , but please know that I like myself too much to tolerated hate speak against me even if I am excluded from the group (ie, the majority of fatties, except you sort of thing) and will defriend, block or eat anyone who writes something along any of those lines. I do recognize the fact people should pay for what they use (as I mention over there) but the inappropriateness of some comments is revolting and I will not tolerate it.

Moo.

2009-04-12T12:20:00.003-04:00

So today I was wondering around the Zoo with my husband and my daughter. Minding my own business and trying not to get killed by the mass amounts of people who had the same idea that we did for a day out and about, and I got moo'd at.

Not even a subtle "I was not really sure what I just heard" sort of noise, a major, loud, I stared right at the shmuck and he just gave me a nasty smile sort of noise.

Oh in hindsite I came up with a million comebacks that I could have said. I could have made reference to any other animals around us, started pointing and commenting loudly about the animal who was out of his cage, or even just kicked him hard and said something like, "I'm so sorry, is that not what you were asking for? I am afraid my bovine is a little weak".

But I didn't. I just let him get to me.

Yeah, I know. Who is the real shmuck. Him who clearly only has half a brain or me who thought she had a full one but let him get to me anyway. I guess I am just out of practice as I do not normally get such comments. There is no question that I am fat, but I do think I look fairly decent most of the time.

Fairly at least.

But even if I don't (and I still think that, at least today, I did) what gives someone else the right to dehumanize me like that? An old Jewish guy no less who you think would know the ends that dehumanizing can lead to! My Jewish education taught me that it is the first step on a slippery slope to things that go well beyond silly noises.

I spent the rest of the day miserable (and believe me there were enough things to push me well over the edge without having dealt with this early in the day.

Feeling Blah

2009-03-22T13:37:00.000-04:00

I am very, very tired and I have no idea why.

I mean, tired to the point of non-functional. I thought it was just a bad few days, but for almost 3 weeks now I have just been too tired to accomplish much.

I have n0 interest in being in the studio. I have been really short tempered and feel like I am going to cry pretty much all the time.

I feel sort of sad and lonely and empty and there is no real reason for it as I have friends and am generally pretty happy now. Intellectually, I am happier than I think I have ever been.

I wish I knew why I feel so blah.

If life was not going so well I would be worried I was slipping back into a depression- but as life is going pretty darn well that is a) silly and b) impossible.

I just wish I knew why I feel like I left my brain somewhere. If you find it can you please send it back? I sort of miss it.

Shopping in Friend's closets

2009-03-22T04:50:00.002-04:00

I forgot how much fun going shopping in someone elses closet can be. A friend of mine told me she had a bunch of stuff that would be good for wearing in the studio (why stain my own stuff when I can just use someone else's non-wearable stained stuff until I destroy it completely). On half (or more) of the shirts she gave me I can not for the life of me find anything wrong with them.

Ok, so I did not get a whole lot of studio wear, but I got some nice shirts that I have been wearing for the last two weeks.

Actually, the best things about shopping in other' people's closets is you end up with all sorts of things you would never actually buy for yourself. I ended up with some colours I would never even think to pull off the shelf- and I really like them! I got this one sort of sage green shirt that I wore into Tel Aviv last week and I had a BUS DRIVER complement me on how nice the colour was on me (ok, so slightly creepy, but all the sime I rather enjoyed the moment!). Now it is a colour I will give a second look to in my own shopping.

I also go to try some new shapes/styles that I woudl not normally try. Although the sort of babydoll cut with layered sleeves is not likely to ever see the light of day again, the one with embroidered flowers is actually kid of cute!

It is a great way to take some risks without spending any money (which to me means making a comittment to actually wearing them!)

More Israeli Shopping

2009-03-14T16:50:00.003-04:00

Oh my gosh! I went shopping with a friend in Jerusalem last week and she taught me something. Stores here do not need to be a "plus sized store" in order to carry plus sizes! She took me in to a bunch of funky looking trendy stores that I would never think to go in to and they had stuff that fit me! I got a gorgeous grey layers skirt at shkalim and although I used ot buy clothes there in a previous lifetime would never have even thought to go in there now.

I have also learned about 2 other stores, one called "Matim Li" (translates roughly to "good for me") and another stores whose name I can not remember (must get name!) that had gorgeous and cool clothes in every size.

I thne went into the famous "no clothing over 50 shekel (thoughly $15 US" store on Yaffo near Ben Yehuda and not only did I find a skirt that fit (although I did nto get it as I did not love the colours) but they told me they are opening a plus sized section!!!! Fun, colourful clothing for reasonable ammounts of money (although I suspect their plus section will be more expensive by a little, but I can understand that as fabric costs are slightly more.

I am also now bringing in tights from we love colours. They might be expensive but they take a freaking beating! I have worn the brown ones I got 10 times or so and they are still in one piece (but I suspect we might be getting to the end of their useful life as the inner seam is wearing out). I LOVE the colours and the fact the colour does not wash out as it stretches. THey now also have footless tights that I will probably get for next year so I can wear them with fuzzy socks (I hate wearing socks over tights as I find my foot ends up sliding around too much and I get icky blisters.

My plan is to get back into updating this thing a little more often now that I am more settled and finguring things out a little more. I will say that overall my adjustment period has been great. Althoguh I find most Israeli's do tend ot be skinny, I have found them to be overall much more accepting and accomidating to the idea that people come in lots of different shapes and sizes.

The coat

2009-03-14T16:43:00.002-04:00

Got the coat. It is nice and mostly what I was looking for. As I do not think we are going to get any more wet weather this year (although please God we will as we really need more rain!) I will put it away for next year.

Honestly, it is nice but nothing overly special. Junonia service was terrible. shipping was more than the cost of the coat. They did not follow directions or even tell me they were not going to until I asked.

I would not order from them again and would certainly not recommend them to anyone else.

Junonia strikes out again

2009-01-29T01:49:00.002-05:00

So after the saga of the snowpants last year, I was prepared to give Junonia another try. They were nice enough to send me a gift certificate becuase of the hulabaloo. I really thought that it was just one of those things that happen and azoy.

Well. I used the gift certificate (which was about to expire) to buy myself a new coat off of their website. I noticed they had shipping to Israel- Great! I thought this was going ot be the find of the century for fatshionistas in Israel.

Yeah, not so fast. If I wanted to have their item shipped to Israel, I had to pay through a 3rd party (not the biggest deal wince they were also a reputable company) and the shipping costs, on this coat for which I was paying roughly $50 (it was on sale) were roughly $250! (Please note, I am currently waiting for a couriered package, 2 day courier, from the US, and it was only $150!)

Um, yeah. Not goign ot happen.

So I figure I will have the coat shipped to my mother who is comming to visit in a few weeks. she can bring it with her. Shipping to canada was still outragiously expensive, but as I had the gift certificate and had found a coat on sale it was within what I was willing to pay. So I went through the checkout process, gave my mother's addres and signed up for 2 day shipping, and figured as she was not leaving for almost 3 weeks I was good to go.

I got a confirmation email saig the items were in stock and would ship immidiatly.

That was november 13th. My mom was leaving on the 28.

The coat does not show up by the 15th. I figured maybe I ordered across the date line or something, give it an extra couple days.

January 20th I called them to find out where the coat was. I was told that "they do nto offer 2 day shipping to Canada" and that it had been automatically changed to regular shipping which could take from 10-17 days. Oh, and they only ship to Canada twice a week, so those times did not begin until the 16th when the package was shipped (the 16th beign the day it should have arrived!) Based on the new calculations, the coat would not be expected to arrive until February 2nd- well after my mother is set to leave.

I was furious! Now, if and when the coat shows up (there is no tracking or insurance on it, I asked! They told me it could not be done for packages leaving the US) I need to find another way to get it here. Thankfully I found someoen coming the end of February willing to bring it, but 1) It is already goign to be warming up by then, and 2) that was just luck! Otherwise it would have cost me $60 or moreto have it reshipped from Canada (Canada post rates stink).

Now, after arguing with them on the phone for an hour or so (and eating my voip minutes like crazy!) I got them to agree to refund the entire cost of the coat, plus shipping in both directions- if I send them back the coat. Logically that makes sense. If I do nto keep it I get my momney back- but there is no compensation for the trouble if I do keep the coat.

Suffice it to say that I will not likely be going back to Junonia any time soon. I am very, very frusterated that a place with such potential has dropped the ball so badly.

I got my tights!

2009-01-29T01:39:00.002-05:00

So far as I know there is NOWHERE in this country to get fat tights. I know there has to be as there are lots of fat people wearing tights, but apparently I am not worthy of joining the "in the know" crowd about where to get them.

So I needed a different solution.

I asked a fried to help me. I picked someone I know from back home who is incredibly stylish, likes to have fun with her clothing, demands comfort, and also a plus size to help me carry out my plan. I sent her into either Additionelle or Penningtons (I can not remember which) with the awesome instruction "Money is no object! Buy and ship!"

Now, with instructions like that, who would not have fun?

I got burgandy and purple and brown and blue and black with funky patterns and grey. (I have also since ordered light blue, gold and tie dye from We love colours which were shipped to my mom and are coming when she comes to visit T O M O R R O W ! ! ! (YAY for a mommy-visit!).

She popped them into the mail and I figured I would get them in a week or two.

Did I mention that all of this took palce the first week of November?

Last week my husband and I were away for a few days, and I came home to find 3 package notices in my mail box. Oh was I hoping (as I had pretty much given up hope of ever getting the stuff beign that it has been pretty much 3 months!).

I went to the post office, and there was not 1, not two, but *3* different packages, each having been shipped the first week of November!!!!!!!!!!

Note to self- mail is insanely slow.

But- I GOT MY TIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wore purple tights to a bris this week. Wow did I feel funky. I have never owned purple tights before because I never wanted to spend the money on them. With someone else doing the buying I had to reply on her judgement.

Not only that, but they did not fall apart the first time I wore them so I get ot wear them again!

Thanks AL for totally making my winter for me!

Paydirt!

2008-11-23T17:02:00.004-05:00

Oh my gosh I think I died and hit religious fat woman heaven!

I went to the store I had heard about. It is called black and white and it is located in someone's storage space here in Beit shemesh. Yes, yo uheard me right. A storage locker.

Needless to say I was not expecting much.

Lord was I in for a surprise!

The place was tiny, but it was, quite literally stuffed with loads of stuff, and for the first time ever I could wear all of it! Not only did it fit (lets face it, there were stores in the past that dealt in large sized clothing so a store of stuff that fit was, while nice, not totally novel), but it was all totally religiously acceptable to my level of modesty. Obviously there were some pieces in which I would not be caught dead (a stripped chifon sparkely thing comes to mind) but theoretically I could buy and wear every single piece in the store!

Ok, so what was there.

Basically, it was a line of clothing, designed and produced in Israel, for people like me. There is a chain of stores that carry the clothing, but this was an independant supplier. The name of the brand is "Discreet".

The clothign was classy and elegant but not so boring as to scream "Hi there I am a religious fanatic who wants to be sure that men are not tempted by my gorgeous curves". They obviously had chosen not to only carry items for the strictest of the stric,t but also for the rest of us who actually like people to notice that we exist once in a while. (Ok, so I am not beign 100% fair. can you tell I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder).

I tried on 7 skirts. I wanted them all. I tried on 2 shirts. I wanted them both.

Aha, now here is the rub. I could not take them all becuase prices were, well, pricey. I took 2 skirts. One a long lycra mermaid ish sort of cut skirts. It was 140 nis (roughly $35). The other was a very israeli skirt, 2 layers, one a wool and the under one more of a cotton with tulle edging. Shades of brown. It was 240 nis (roughly $60). The shirt I got was just a soft, stretchy, light pink, long sleeved t shirt and it was 80 nis ($20). The prices may not sound so bad, but when you compare the fact that salaries here are lower, and non-plus sized stuff can be had for 50 nis and up, well the prices are a little steep.

Not too steep that I would not go back.

they do not carry sleepware, underwear, tights/stockings or any other sort of lengerie (they are not that progressive) so I still have no idea where to get that sort of stuff other than to bring it in.

Oh, and she wants ot have dispaly of my work and some cards in the shop. As she is the only plus sized show in town, and I do plus sized work, it seems like a good "shidduch" (match).

Ok, so I have heard of a store, now how to find it

2008-11-18T03:29:00.003-05:00

I have been told of a store here in RBS that carries plus sizes and supposedly has really nice stuff. I have been told that although the prices are not exactly reasonable, they are also not as terrible as they could be (greeeeeeeeat...). I even saw an add for them in an English publication that we get (seemingly randomly as I have no idea how often we get it and never know when to expect it) last week that my husband tossed before I told him I actually needed it (thankfully, I got to read the section of short story they printed becuase I am enjoying the serial and do not want to miss a segment).

There is a local private phone book here in Beit Shemesh called, funny enough, the shemesh-phone. It is not there. At least not in the 2 year old version we got for free when we moved here from a friend of ours who has the more up to date version. We can nto get an up to date version as there seem to be none left. In any case, we asked and they do nto seem tobe in there.

So I have no idea where the store is (chances are it is in someone's basement. Most shops here are not in actual store fronts unles they are willing ot pay the big bucks as there is not a lot of commercial space in RBSA). I have no idea what sizes they carry- someone told me they think to European size 62. Anyone know what that is in the old contry?). I haven o idea how to reach them.

This is fun.

On the other hand, my mommy and a friend of mine sent me real, honest to goodness, Canadian tights. I am a much happier camper now when I need to go out at night.

Going into Tel Aviv tomorrow. There has to be a plus sized store in Tel Aviv right? Any idea how the heck I would find it?

Tights

2008-11-10T09:35:00.002-05:00

Well I am no importing tights from Canada and the US becuase I have given up and my legs are freakin' freezing! Thank goodness I have some wonderful people back in the substantially colder (and clearly more plus sized friendly) north to help me out or I might be the first person in the Mediterranean to lose a leg or two to fristbite.

I am starting to think about opening a plus sized shop over here. It seems to be a nice that needs filling. The only problem is that I do not tihnk it would fly hwere I am. Too small town. I think if I am going to do it I need to do it in either Jerusalem ore Tel Aviv. Truthfully, I figure there has to be something, but there is probably a local colloquialism for "plus size" that I jsut do not know to look for.

Be that as it may my mom is sending a bunch of pairs, and my friend Andrea is sending over a whole bunch that are mroe colourful. I am also thinking of ordering a few pairs from "we love colors" but frankly they ar really expensive. The colors are awesome, but once you convert the price into shkalim it just kills me to think about actually doing it.

On the "plus" side, my studio is now back up and running again. I love my new studio here. I am so much light and space. I never imagined the difference that having a seperate, dedicated work space would make. It make me feel so much more professional, and I think it comes across when I am dealing with people as well. I can now actualy have clients into the studio and do not need to meet them at a local coffee shop (which is a good thing becuase there isn't one).

My Etsy shop is slowly getting back up on its feet after months of neglect. I have some local work in both custom work and repairs starting to come in. Other than the fact that having to go on a supply run is a 6 hour trek into Tel Aviv, from a business point of view things have never been better.

Well, except for the fact that I sliced my finger last week becuase I was doing something particularly stupid. Ruined the piece as well becuase my hand jumped and my saw took a huge gash out of the silver I was working on.

Dumb.

Oh well, such is life I guess.

Wow

2008-09-25T15:55:00.005-04:00

Wow.

Went to an open air market in Tel Aviv this past week. Looked at a number of "one size fits all" skirts- some wrap-arounds, some broomstick like with elastic waists. On the other hand, only one stall guy was even remotely obnoxious about it.

Not one would have fit a leg, never mind both.

And I might add this is after introducing 40 minutes of quick walking a day into my life (we do not have a car here and I need to be a 20 minute walk away by 8:30 every morning and get home in the afternoon) that has none of my clothing staying up anymore and me starting to get desperate for a good seamstress!

In all seriousness, this not being able to get clothing in this country might be a problem much sooner than I expected.

Shalom Y'all

2008-09-18T12:55:00.004-04:00

Well, my family and I have been in Bet shemesh for 5 weeks now. A little nutty to think about how fast this all happened.

I have received a number of emails asking me where I was and asking that I keep writing, so I am going to. To those groaning and asking why I am back, well- why are you here exactly?

So being fat and friendly in Bet Shemesh is a whole different ballgame from being fat and friendly in Toronto. For starters, there are a lot more people here who do not fit the standard mold. For starters, it seems that almost everyone and their sister's are pregnant. That certainly gives one a more "well rounded" view of beauty.

There does seems to be an easier understanding here that people come in different shapes and sizes. I have NEVER had any trouble here with turnstyles, seats and even plastic furniture. I have never been harrased or teased for my size, and the one time a child did say something the mother responded "so, and you have brown hair" (as in, that is juts part of who she is just like you are who you are).

On the other hand, I should admit that it is hard to stay overweight in a country built into a mountainous desert. For some reason, no matter where you are going, it is always 30 minutes directly uphill. This is not to say that everyone is skinny minies, but I will say clothing I bought just before I left Toronto is desperatly seeking a good tailor.

The flip side though, is that there is absolutly NO plus sized shopping- and there are "processing fees (that seem rather randomly assesed) on ANYTHING brought into the country ON TOP OF CUSTOMS AND TAXES. Yeah, you read that right. It totally and comepletely sucks.

The other things is that the medical sustems seems to try to hide the fact they are incredibly fatist behind a screen of "we know what this is becuase we see it all the time. Yeah, we blame the fact you are fat for everything from a hangnail to a broken nose, but it is not becuase we assume it is, we have seen enough to know that black eye you got from walking into a door was really your fat@$$ flipping up and hitting you in the eye... Ok, so I guess they got me there... ;)

Our stuff finally got here this week so I have set up my studio and today started filling orders and what not. My new studio is twice the space my old one was, with loads of natural light and I love it! It is awesome to be working again.

This country is gorgeous. I can not get over the views. The view from my balcony is to die for. (You can go to http://weloveyoubutwearegoinganyway.blogspot.com/2008/09/channah-on-her-first-day-of-school.html to see the view from our mirpeset (balcony). Public transit is reasonably priced and fairly efficient. Our apartment is lovely.

So far, other than the clothing issue, I have no complaints.

Oh, I should also add that one would think chub rub would be a huge problem with the heat here, but for whatever reason it is mostly non existant. Seriously. Non-issue. I think it is so hot people are essentially (serious tmi here folks) self lubricating.

Fat and Friendly in... Bet Shemesh????

2008-08-21T10:35:00.002-04:00

Ok, so I have a confession to make. About a week ago I left Toronto for (what I think is) for good and moved across the planet to Bet Shemesh in Israel. For those who know anything about Israel's geography, Bet Shemesh is in the middle of the country about 2/3 of the way from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.

I am loving it here. Ok so plus size stores may be few and far between (ok, I have not as of yet found any, but I have been told there is at least one) but the fat friendly culture is wonderful. The turnstyles are not designed for anorexics. Chairs are meant to be sat in. Busses meant to be relatively comfortable.

It is amazing!

So, I do plan to keep this blog up and running and just change it slightly to things of interest outside the us INCLUDING Canada.

Thoguhts?

I'm Hiding...

2008-08-07T01:25:00.002-04:00

Okay no not really. I know I haven't exactly been posting voraciously, But I do have an excuse. My family and I are less than a week away from making a move across the planet. To save them had that would be an understatement. My living room is so full of boxes That it looks like a shipping house!

Bracelets- but will it fit?

2008-07-17T14:42:00.002-04:00

I have heard from a number of women that buying bracelets online can be a real pain in the well rounded tushy. If your wrist is under 8 inches around, then any bracelet that says it is 8 inches long should fit right?

Well, in a word, No.

I am linking to a post that has information on why not all bracelets fit, and how to find out if the one you are looking at is a reasonable option for you.

Ask not "How long is the bracelet?", ask instead "What is the inner circumference of the bracelet?".

I present to you

"The Mystery of Bracelet Sizing" Courtesy of D L Pom LLC Handcrafted Expressions.

My vacation

2008-07-14T09:18:00.007-04:00

Last week my mom, my sister and I went away for a 3 day "girls mid-week weekend to Montreal. We took the train in, stayed at a hotel, went out to eat, and shopped like mad. Ok, not exactly like mad as none of us really have too much money to blow, but certainly at least like somewhat-crazy.

Never having been on a train before I was a little nervous about the whole seating thing, but I needn't have thought twice about it. No seat belts, wide comfortable seats, and at least 3 times the legroom of an average airplane made it a very comfortable (although somewhat boring... trains are a lot more fun and romantic in movies!) 5 hours.

Funny how airlines are cutting back and cutting back and cutting back and the trains are still giving out free toys for kids (And me- I brought back some fold and assemble trains for my husband and daughter).

In fact, the whole weekend was rather liberating. I went shopping and got some gorgeous new stuff. Shopping with my sister always pushes my limits and makes me move out of my normal comfort zones clothing wise- not that I eve regret it after because she really does know what she is talking about. She convinced me into a green shirt (I never wear green) that gets compliments left right and centre.

I also got a neat dress (made out of bamboo!), a really funky black and white knee length print skirt, a few layering tanks in black and white and some headbands (and socks because I forgot to pack any).

It was not all peaches and roses though. The first store we went to only went up to an XL, and it was a fairly small XL. It fit my fairly average sized mom. I looked at accessories, but mostly felt like I was sticking out like a sore thumb. My mom (or more likely my sister) saw how frustrated I was so we went to a store "just for me". We went to Addition-Elle.

Ok, first of all the service was better than I have ever had in any AE store here. I mean, there WAS customer service! It was great. I felt a little like a freak show at first with my mom and my sister just sitting around waiting for me, but by the time we had left they had found a bunch of pairs of pants between them that they were taking as well. With my sister guiding some of my choices it actually turned out to be more fun than I remember having shopping in a long time.

Then came the big step off the weekend. I chopped off my hair.

When I say chopped I mean it. I cut off almost 10 inches. It went from the middle of my back to the nape of my neck in the back and to my jaw bone in the front. I still cover the whole top so nothing much changed up there, but I think the rest of the change is actually rather dramatic. I was really nervous about the whole thing, but actually I really love it.

The whole thing was very "What not to Wear" -like, but it was a good thing. I was feeling so confident I actually went swimming in the hotel pool, by myself, without wearing a t shirt on top! Ok, that may not sound like much to you, but for me it was an adult first! Not sure if I would do it again here where people know me, but it was somewhat liberating in any case. No one said boo to me about it either. I shmoozed with people in the hot tub, played with a kid in the pool, and all in all felt totally and completely "normal". No one came to cart me off to the "ugly people assylum" or critisized me in any way. I was just another person there because it was insanely freaking hot outside (and I did not want to stay in the hotel room watching Dr. Phil with my other traveling companions!)

Other than that, we went to Old Montreal and went on a horse and buggy ride (seriously, if you are in Montreal go and do it. It was my favourite part of the trip. We went at sundown so we started it was still lights, but as we went on all the buildings started lighting up and it looked like something out of a fairytale! My sister and I got henna tattoos and all in all we had a really great time.

I have to add that we had some of the best food ever. El Moroco and Morty's were hands down two of the best places I have ever eaten. Seriously, steak to die for!

And now a word from our sponsors

2008-07-03T13:47:00.002-04:00

Etsy
Buy Handmade
PhonyArt

2008-07-01T10:54:00.001-04:00

Happy Canada Day!

click me :)

Ooops

2008-06-30T20:10:00.001-04:00

"Hey Mom, Look at that cow!"

"How dare y..." right. I am at a farm. I guess I still need to work on that over sensitivity thing.

Coupons, coupons, coupons

2008-06-26T20:36:00.003-04:00

I just joined up with a new website where Etsy artists can offer coupons to their shops. It is quite small, but hopefully it will grow over time.

Etsy Secrets will have my first coupon up within a day or so.

As a sneak peak for readers here, I will tell you that for the next two weeks there will be free sterling silver pearls studs (available with long posts!) with purchase*... well, for those who have the coupon code anyway...

So yeah. go check it out. and if it is not there yet, please try again later.

*some restriction apply. Not valid for followers of the imperial dark lord or he who shall not be named. Limit one pair per customer unless you have two heads. Then I am happy to send to pairs. Not recommend for fetuses under 9 months. Do not use as a flotation device. In case of emergency, please do not expect your earrings to help you in any way.

My Entry to the Fat Experience Project

2008-06-26T12:29:00.001-04:00

I will never be good enough for my family because I am fat. On the other hand I am learning to live with that.

It is not that anyone in my family is really a "skinny mini", it is just that they are mostly what they consider "normal" and always dieting to get closet to having the same profile as a stick. The fact that I am fat, and worse yes, not changing that fact, makes me an embarrassment.

I remember being six years old and my cousin and I got lollypop in the synagogue. My bubbie opened my cousin's for her then told me that "I really did not need that".

Their thinking coloured my own for a very long time. Growing up I thought it was okay to be a doormat- to be tormented by mean children in my school and I accepted that it was normal for other kids to hurt the fat ones. There was one boy in my class who would come up to me and grab my newly developing breasts and yell "squishi-boobs". I cried, but I told myself that I deserved it. Clearly my family thought it was okay because no matter how much I cried, no one stopped the torture.

In high school I made friends, but by then it was too late. I always tried to give 110%. I was the kid who invited everyone over. Who would organize everything. I figured if I stopped no one would have use for me anymore. I always felt like there was an invisible wall between us. I remember on our grad trip everyone standing with their arms around each other in a group hug and me standing on the side. I could not bring myself to break that wall and touch another person. They were "normal". I was fat. I always wondered what they said about me behind my back. I figured it did not matter so long as they pretended to like me when I was around.

I wore baggy clothes to try to hide as much as I could. No wait. I am lying. There were times where I tried something a little funkier. My parents told me it did not look good on someone my size and ridiculed me. They made me go change and "put on a sweater".

But I am learning.

Some of those people are still my friends and I have realized that it is not only because I organized the parties.

I have moved on with my life. I found a wonderful man who can see beyond the surface to what is in my soul. With him I am building a family and rebuilding a life with my family that has to do with who I am and not what I look like.

I look at my daughter and see the world in her face. I see undisguised love in her face when she kisses me goodnight. She knows I am fat. In her "my family" picture she made at school I am clearly twice the size of her father- but she loves me anyway.

2 years ago I went back to school. It is a school where merit and accomplishment mean a lot more than your Saturday night plans. I now have a business that I love. I have worked hard for it and it is growing nicely. At first I thought it was growing becuase people never needed to see me. You know what? I recently added a photo to my site and business did not stop short. In fact, if anything it has been better since I added the picture.

In fact I have found a bit of a niche market in designing for people like myself. Fat people who are tired of hiding in the shadows. Through their strength mine has continued to grow as well. I have moved from dark and drab to bright and vibrant in more areas than my wardrobe.

The invisible walls are crumbling and I am starting to walk away from the ruins. I can't get enough hugs from my husband or my daughter. I can walk arm and arm with a friend and not worry that everyone is staring at us. Ok, well, sometimes I do still worry, but I walk arm and arm and tell myself it is okay and I am not doing anything wrong.

It has taken a long, long time, but I am starting to learn that I am not the sum of the numbers on a scale. I deserve to be happy. To have friends, and a loving family, and nice clothes. I deserve to have dreams and to have them come true just like everyone else.

And those who are not going to be supportive can go to hell. I am sure there will be lots of "normal" people there to greet them.

The Fat Experience Projects

2008-06-25T10:21:00.004-04:00

Good morning :)

I awoke this morning to find a notice and request in my inbox, and I am more than agreeable to share it with everyone here. I agree with the project, and if I a) had a video camera tat connected to my computer in some way, shape or form, b) feel way less comfortable speaking than I do writing, and c) were passed the "still working on it" stage of my "I am hideously ugly because I am fat" thing I would do it in a heartbeat.

***************************************************

Hi there -

I wanted to let you know, in hopes that you might let your audience know, that I've recently launched a new project that I'm very excited about!

The new project is called "The Fat Experience Project." and you can view it here:

http://thefatexperience.com

The goal of the Fat Experience Project is to map the global experience of fat in a way that is human, has a face, a heart, a mind, a body and a voice. The Fat Experience Project is an oral, visual and written history project which seeks to be a humanizing force in body image activism. By collecting and sharing the many and varied stories of individuals of size, the Fat Experience Project seeks to engage with, educate, empower and enrich the lives of people of size, our allies and the world at large.

As the project grows, it will be filled with first-person, non-fiction narratives (in text, video or mp3 format) that speak to the many and varied aspects of the life lived large. Some of the content will come from interviews already gathered on an extensive 2-month road trip (with the lovely Val Garrison) in both audio and video format. Some content will come from trips on the horizon. Most content will be submitted via thewebsite by readers such as yourself.

It is my hope that the project will be a community tool to combat prejudice/stereotype/discrimination as well as to help externalize shame so it can discussed and dissipated. The things we keep silent about are the things that do us the most harm. Shared burden is lighter. I am hoping, as well, that the project may eventually be used as a humanizing resource for fat studies and social anthropology courses.

I am writing to ask for your help in both the promotion of and the participation in this project. It is my fondest hope that, ultimately, with time and resources, this project will grow beyond a specific and exclusive fat focus and move toward addressing the many intersections of shame.

In the meantime, I would love your help in the form of passing this along to your readers/mailing lists/friends/family/anyone you feel may benefit from hearing about this project.

I also welcome comments, constructive criticism and volunteers.

Thanks for your time and energy!
Big BIG love,

Stacy Bias
http://thefatexperience.com
http://www.stacybias.net

Bad Google Ads!

2008-06-24T12:27:00.003-04:00

This does not fall under "stupid comments" so much as it falls under "stupid web programs", but as I do not want to create a new tag that I will likely never use again, this is where I am sticking it.

I keep a regular journal over at livejournal (not hiding anything, if anyone is a member there and wants to find me I am under the name happyduck1979). I have what they call a "plus" account. Basically, I get some of the perks that the paid members have, but in exchange I have to see a few adds on my page. It really does not bother me in the slightest because I use adblock (a firefox extension) so I never actually see them anyway.

On that journal I have a link to this blog.

Google adds are what's called "targeted advertizing" and brings up ads based on words and links on a page. For example, if you have an entry on toasters, you might get an add for a kitchen supply store. Have a link to the weather? you might get an add for umbrellas. you get the picture.

A friend just let me know that for those who do have to see the adds, because I have a link to this blog "Fat and Feminine in Toronto" that uses the word fat, I am getting adds for weight loss products and weight loss centres! So I logged in to my journal with another browser, and there was an add, right at the top of my own journal, telling me that I should eat better to lose weight!

Now I did what it told me to for objectionable adds and reported it, but I have my doubts that it is going to do anything.

Ok, logically I can certainly see the connection between the two things. I type "fat" I get "lose weight" as an add- but there has got to be a way to get my journal to stop insulting me behind my back!

If anyone knows how to get rid of a seriously unwanted add please let me know.

Me again

2008-06-22T10:32:00.003-04:00

Another review :) Thanks!

Pedestrian Sunday at Kensington Market

2008-06-22T10:30:00.001-04:00

Attention Ladies and Gentlemen in and around Toronto

Next week, on Sunday June 29th, I will be participating in Pedestrian Sunday at Kensington Market at the Anshei Minsk congregation. Pedestrian Sundays is a great event in a fun and historical area of Toronto, the original home to Toronto's Jewish community. In one of many attempts to revitalize the shul my cousin and her friends are trying to put "the Minsker" on the map with a sale, a family friendly kosher bbq, and some other fun stuff.

A percentage of all sales will go to the Anshei Minsk congregation.

Please come out to support a great cause and a nice, free event.

10 St. Andrew Street right at Spadina. Easy by bus, or parking available nearby.

hats on for me

2008-06-21T22:20:00.003-04:00

Ok, so although I have never actually gone in to it on this blog, I have mentioned a few times that I always wear a hat of scarf or something on my head. So someone finally called me on it. Why do I do it?

Have you ever seen Fiddler on the Roof? "We Jews have been kicked out of many, many places. Forced to leave with not'ing but the clothes on our backs. Maybe that's why we always wear our hats!" Ok, so thats not really the real reason, but it is a good a jumping point as any.

I am a Modern Orthodox Jew. This is a huge part of who I am and does effect a lot of what I wear and what I do. Through various biblical reference we learn that a married woman should cover her hair. When and how much are questions that people more learned than I have been struggling with for a very long time, but the base fact, that according to traditional Judaism married women wear something on their heads is not really arguable.

From a modesty point of view it is something that becomes private. One of the parts of us that are designated for our husbands. Just as we teach children that "what is under a bathing suit is yours and yours alone, so to does our hair take on this status when we get married. (Why our hair and not, say, our nose or our pinky? I have no idea.) In essence, we cover our hair as a sign both to ourselves and those around us that we are married, and therefore unavailable. In the religious world it is as common a sign of being married as a wedding ring is to the rest of society (Although thankfully for jewelers like myself we also have wedding rings!)

There are a number of ideas of how this should happen. The more traditional streams of Judaism say that it all must be covered all of the time and often use wigs, snoods, scarves etc, that will cover every last strand of hair at all times. Many even sleep in thair coverings of choice. Less traditional streams believe that you should wear a hat or other headcovering for religious rituals (prayer, ceremonies, etc. Along the ideas of wearing a hat connotes respect).

There are also those who have chosen to leave this idea behind all together.

And then are those like me who fall somewhere in the middle. I am a firm believer that there is a God and he did give us the Torah (Bible), but I believe that over the last 2 thousand years it has been interpreted and reinterpreted by human beings. I try to learn what I can and make my own way in this world according to the precept set down in the Torah in harmony with a modern lifestyle and rational thought.

I used to cover it all with a wig or whatever all of the time, but as I figured out more and more who I was, I realized that doing so was not exactly who I wanted to be. I now cover some of my hair most of the time.

I wear something on my head whenever I leave the house, and most of the time when we have men at our place (family, often close friends from before I was married, etc. not included). Most of the time it is a beret, baseball cap, bandana, or scarf. I do still occasionally wear wigs where a hat would look funny our out of place (formal affairs, etc.), but even then I try to avoid it as it makes me feel hypocritical as it is not something I generally do.

(There is a 2nd type of headcoverings in Judaism. A Kippa (Yarmulka) is traditionally worn by men only, but is now being taken up amongst less traditional streams for both genders during prayer or ceremony. It is now being seen more and more in the form of headbands and baseball caps for those who believe that a headcover is a reminder that God is above us. But as I am not associated directly with any of those groups I am going to leave it aside for now).

Ok, now if anyone has any questions on how I reconcile traditional religion with modernity and feminism feel free to ask and I will try to take on any questions posed.

comiing from my closet... (no, not like that)

2008-06-20T15:57:00.004-04:00

So, it has been about 2 years now since I looked in my closet and realized it was darker than the biblical plague of darkness in there. It seemed that pretty much every piece of clothing I owwned was either black, navy or grey, with a couple of white shirts here and there to wear under other things.

It was depressing.

I realized that I was dressing mostly so that I would just fade into the darkness and no one would notice me. On the other hand, as my esteem was in the toilet and my head was only 2 inches above ground level most of the time, that seemed to fit.

As I slowly broke ground with my therapist, I realized that I had no reason to be hiding behind my clothes. Ok, I am fat. Ok, I am not going to win any modeling contests anytime soon, but I am a good person. I am a nice person. I am not some hideous monster who should never show her face in public... and certainly never look to have anyone notice her at all. I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me!

Yes ladies and gentlemen. I am a person who deserves to enjoy my life just as much as the next person. Maybe more than some.

But then came the problem. I had always been told that "people my size" should wear baggy clothing. Try to cover our "flaws". Dark colours were more "slimming". Patterns were too "overwhelming" when used in such large pieces. I realized that I only knew how to dress according to how others saw me. I did not know the first thing about dressing myself the way I wanted to be seen.

I had always been into the whole artsy-romantic-historical look. Did people actually wear stuff like that?

Funnily enough, I found they did. Yes, even fat people. And these were people who wanted to be noticed.

I started by not going to far outside my comfort zone. I had always worn broom stick skirts in the summer. Comfy, roomy, available in black- what more could I have asked for. So I bought one in bright royal blue with a slightly darker embroidered trim at the bottom. Wore it a few times, got used to wearing it with a pale blue shirt! (Pale blue is a colour that had never even entered my home before, let alone my closet!) Before I knew it, I had bought an vibrant haloween orange broomstick skirt with orange sequins and hunter green embroidered trim! I bought a headscarf to match, added a white shirt, and had my first "a whole new me" ensemble.

And I love it and I wear it all summer long.

Because I am an Orthodox Jew pants, shorts, sleeveless, backless etc. is just not an option for me. Totally not up for discussion. In some ways this makes life easier... no need to fight the inner "should I should my upper arms even though I hate the way they continue to wave hello after the rest of my arm has stopped" battle. On the other hand, it does give me a little less to work with as finding skirts that are nice, funky, washable, weather appropriate, and available in plus sizes is a bit of a tall order. Add to that the fact that I always wear a hat or head scarf of some sort (I do own a couple of wigs but hate wearing them so they get a lot of shelf time).

Over time I have managed to build up a set of "funner" clothing. I have a skirts in violet with beads and sequins, brown with velvet, a red white and blue paisley print and even in tie dye! I have an awesome ruffled poet shirt with a ribbon corset going down the front, some nice t shirts of varying sleave length in a number of different colours, and some really funky sweaters that I love for in the winter. I even own two turtlenecks... something I was told was an absolute "no-no".

Recently I even went so far as to start buying dresses. I picked up this amazing black jumper that has a front corset tied with a hot pink ribbon that I wear with a hot pink shirt. I have a wrap dress (ok, so that is black, but it has burgandy trim). I even looked at a dress with this bold, mod square pattern on it in black white and red (I decided though that I just could nto afford it right then so I had to walk away.

Even my footwear has gotten a little more exciting thanks to my sister. No more loafers 7 days a week. Now I have heels, ballet flats, boots, even a pair of fairly strappy sandals.

And today I was chatting with someone about a shirt I saw that I want really, really badly. She commented that she loved it, but would never have the courage to wear it. I realized that a year ago neither would I.

I also realized that overhauling my wardrobe is a big part of what has been happening to my overall self esteem. Sure there are still some bad days, but on the whole I am moving out of the "I am a terrible person because I am fat and should love a life of shame" to "I am a good person and that is independent of how I look and I deserve to live my life in the sun like everyone else".

I am not entirely sure if I am pulling my wardrobe or if it is pulling me, but either way it seems to be working for us both.

Zenni Optical

2008-06-16T12:48:00.003-04:00

I just wanted to be sure that EVERYONE knows about Zenni Optical. They offer good quality glasses, including lenses, starting from just $8. Shipping to Canada is $6 no matter how many pairs you get.

I wear a really high prescription and generally spend a fortune on my glasses. Even when I bought $49 walmart frames I still ended up paying over $500 for my glasses. Here, I chose 2 different frames, one $49 and one slightly less, got two complete pairs of glasses (including high index lenses, anti-scratch, glares and reflectives coatings) 2 cases, 2 cleaning cloths, and 2 sets of sunshades for each, for $131 including shipping. Not $8 (did not like the $8 frames) but for less than 1/4 of what Iwould generally pay for one pair, I got 2.

I have always had trouble finding glasses I liked as store optitions are a royal pita most of the time. Frankly, I knew what I wanted, they told me it could not be done in my script. Here I did not have any of the nonsense that my scripts was "to strong" for rimless frames. I got exactly what I wanted with no questions asked.

All I did was measure my owl frames so that I knew basically what size I was looking for. Zenni has detailed measurements listed for every set of glasses on its site. Yes, for those with large heads they had had plenty to choose from.

Ok, so they did take longer than lenscrafters. But even so for an internet purchase it was not to bad. I got them in just under two weeks fro mthe day I placed the order.

They do sunglasses as well, and at less that $20 including the tinting, even as just a pair for the car they are more than worth checking out!

The Tables are turned

2008-06-04T18:45:00.003-04:00

I was in a large plus sized shop the other day and I got the laugh of my life. A woman, clearly to small to belong in the store was browsing through the store and getting more and more frustrated as she could not find pieces in her size. She finally went up to the counter and asked if they carried smaller sizes. The woman behind the counter answered that their clothing only started at a size 14.

The woman through a fit! It was discrimination that they did not carry all sizes. IT was unfair that she should not be able to purchase the clothing in the shop in the size she wanted. The cuts were all too big on here and how was she supposed to take advantage of the sale going on when they had nothing that fit her.

Did they know that "average" (yes she used that word) sized people needed clothing at affordable clothing too...

Ok, so it never really happened... but could you imagine what would happen if it did? Think about what it would mean if every person, regardless of size, shape or gender had equal access to inexpensive and stylish clothing and was not regulated to needing to through a fit in order to have their needs met (all the while everyone else thinking they should just go else ware because they "do not belong").

Caring for your silver jewellery

2008-05-22T11:04:00.002-04:00

I often get asked how to maintain that fresh off the polishing wheel shine on sterling silver. The simple answer is that you can't. You can plate it in rhodium which will keep it really shiny a little longer, but the truth of the matter is that silver is an organic material and it is going to react to it's environment as you wear it. Silver is also an incredibly soft metal and even little things can scratch it.

In fact, sterling work is so susceptible to marks and scratches that once I take it from the polishing wheel I handle it, quite literally, with kid gloves. I clean of the polishing residue using dish-soap and an old piece of super-soft flannel. I try from then on to only handle it using gloves or soft cloths.

That being said, there are ways to keep your silver jewelery looking as good as possible.

The first thing to know is that tarnish, that black film that develops on sterling silver is perfectly normal and DOES NOT mean that you have lousy silver. Sterling silver is made up of 92.5% pure silver, and 7.5% copper. Tarnish is the copper reacting with the air around it. The best thing you can do to protect your sterling it to keep it from air.

The best way to do this is to wear it often! The oils from your skin will actually help to coat and protect your jewelery from the air around it.

When you are not wearing your jewelery, keep it in an airtight container. I recommend small size ziplock bags, 1 piece per bag so they do not scratch each other.

Most anti tarnish devices, be they bags, strips, or waxs work by being impregnated with a chemical that essentially eats the air around them essentially creating a "safe" place for the sterling silver. I hand a strip in my jewelery box, and use cases for my more special pieces (then put those into ziplocks... I am all for extra protection).

So what do you do with pieces you have that are already tarnished? For mild tarnish I do like the jewelery dips although not all jewelers do. For smooth pieces without and nooks and cranies I recommend the Hagardies spray on polish. Bad for the environment? Yep. Good for silver? Oh yeah.

Wait according to the directions, then wipe off with a soft cloth. Wash well to remove all traces of the polish.

I am a BUM by choice

2008-05-22T00:41:00.002-04:00

My standard "uniform" over the summer is a skirt and a white t-shirt. Boring I know, but it works really well for me. I know... how the heck am I trying to maintain a fashion blog!

For years I have been buying t-shirts, finding one or two, some cheap, some expensive, liking them well enough, but never finding something I really love. Soon enough, I stain them with something at my workbench and out they go.

This week, I went to Walmart and bought not 1, not even 2 or 3, but 4 shirts, exactly the same, even the same colour.

I LOVE the plus sized BUM v-neck tshirts. The sleeves are just long enough to not feel like I am exposing too much upper arm flab, the v is nice and low without being too revealing, and the slight bit of stretch in them are incredibly flattering. They also wash like a dream. I bought a few of he 2/4 length ones almost 2 years ago and dthey still look brand new.

Now I need to find the money to buy a couple in every colour!

Ooooh, I got another write up :)

2008-05-14T14:00:00.003-04:00

Anna Lee at SassyDLite has written a lovely write up about me, my blog, and my work. Thanks so much :) Feel free to go take a look at the review here, and do not miss the rest of her blog that has both her own work (some lovely jewelery in her own right!) and, gasp (!), Fashion finds available for Canadians!

Congratulations Canada!

2008-05-14T13:39:00.002-04:00

Yesterday Canada took another step towards admitting that fat people deserve equal treatment! Federal courts upheld the "one person, one fare" law aimed at ensuring that all people get equal service on airlines regardless of their size. This has been the law on busses, trains and ferries for a number of years already, but has only recently been applied to Canadian airliners including Air Canada, West Jet and Jazz.

I can not even begin to tell you how frightened I was that I was going to be totally embarrassed when I went on vacation last December. Our travel agent insisted on buying me 2 seats "just in case". It was humiliating.

Turned out I only needed one anyway, but that is not the point. I have not been on a plane in years because I was afraid that I would be humiliated by a stewardess over my size.

Now, as a Canadian, I need no longer worry about this problem.

Granted there are still a number of problems with the law in that it leaves the airlines to decide who is "entitled" to that extra seat free of charge and "needs it" and those who are "merely uncomfortable" in a single seat and should be "encouraged" to pay for a second seat, but it is certainly a lot better than the situation south of the border where anyone not stick thin flies in fear of being harassed by fellow passengers and staff.

Link to the official press release.

Technical difficulties.

2008-05-11T14:28:00.003-04:00

Sorry everyone. Had to reformat my computer. It is taking me a bit to get everything back to normal. I should be up and posting normally again by midweek.

If I know you, would you mind sending me an email as I lost my entire address book and am trying to recreate it.

Thanks.

And now, another note on happy bra moments

2008-05-05T23:16:00.002-04:00

Ok, so after 5 or so years I finally decided it was time to get my various body parts in gear and find the money to get me some new bras. Figured I would just go online and order me up some new ones the same as the old ones, just substantially less stretched out of shape.

Went to my drawer to grab an old faithful so I could get the info from the tag. Um... ooops... the ones in my drawer were so old the tags had gone blank. Ok, so as I was going to be completely pulling numbers out of thin air, I should probably just go to a store to find one that fits, thne use that size.

I figured it would be pretty straightforward. Went in to the store, grabbed a couple right around my guesstimate of size. Headed for the change room. Now, I certainly knew pretty much what size I was. I knew what I wanted. I knew where to go. Right? Well, okay, how bad is 0/3 really...?

Store 1. Picked what I thought my size was. Discovered that I could fit a whole 'nother set of boobs in there! Went down a size. Nope. Still way too much room even when things were adjusted to their smallest.

You know what the problem is with bra shopping? If you pick up a whole pile that turn out to be no-goes, you need to get completely dressed again in order to leave the stupid little cubby-hole they call a dressing room!

Ok, so out I go again. Grab a bunch more in a substantially smaller size that I anticipated.

Turns out that I size I *thought* I needed were actually 2 cup sizes and 4 inches bigger than I needed. No wonder the old ones were doing diddly-squat!

Ok, so I finally settled on a size with no buckling, no gabs, no spillage, and of course, no underwire. I hate underwire. Right. Well, unfortunately something still did not look quite right. No matter how well the bra fit, it was still sort of giving me that "uni-boob" look once I put on a t-shirt.

Ok, so we are now 0/4. Funny, but did you know that underwire is actually there for a reason? Who knew?

Ok, so 4 stores and almost $50 later I finally have 1 grandma-beige, 2 sizes smaller than I thought, underwired bra.

But boy did the girls look great! It is amazing how much better your clothes look when your chest is on your chest instead of tucked into to your waistband! I was happy.

Well, happy-ish. 1 bra does not a lingerie wardrobe make.

So as soon as I got home I went online and ordered 6 more, same size, from an online vendor with a much better price. I got red, pink, black, white, granny beige (sometimes, you just need them) and turquoise.

So, in the interm I have been wearing the one new one (and one older one that looks great but cuts off circulation in my ribcage when I wear it... I need to do laundry sometime though!) I rediscovered something I had totally forgotten about. Boning.

Boning - that stupid piece of plastic on the side of a bra designed to "help it lay flat" which actually serves to stab you repeatedly in the armpit all day long while constantly rolling up into a snail-like position that eats into the side of your torso until you want to fix it in public and John Q. Public be damned... ooops sorry for that little rant. I really, really hate boning).

Ok, so now I was all worried about will the new ones I ordered off line have the same problem. Did I just spend a bunch of money that I can on really afford to spend on bras that will spend the next 5 years digging in to my ribcage.

They got here today and guess what? NO BONING!

It never ceases to amaze me how small a thing it takes to truly make me giddy with pleasure.

Ok, so I could just have removed the boning, but who want to go to all the trouble taking apart new things and making them feel used... loses something for me.

Gusty Dame

2008-04-29T18:38:00.003-04:00

I just got an email from Gusty Dame saying that she would be at the Clothing Show this weekend, May 2-4th 2008) with her new spring/summer line. This season's line features

Empire waists, Grecian-inspired draping, open back detailing, and bold colours are all featured in our comfortable and easy to wear spring/summer clothing available in sizes 14 to 22. Featuring the designs of TOGS (Canada), MaiTai, Peony, Fashion Love, Cotton Candy and 1st Choice.

I took a look at her facebook group, and boy is there what to display! The clothing is fun, funky, and wonderfully colourful! Ladies out there who feel that plus sized fashion is too drab, our friends at Gutsy Dame are showing tangerine, coral, hot pink, shocking blue, and even a leopard print skirt (no animals were hurt in the making of the piece though so no worries).

I do have to say that based on the photos I have seen the only drawback to this seasons line seems to be in pants and shorts. I am hoping that it was just overlooked in the early promotional photos (and with Steph it is in actuality probably well covered) but all I saw was stanard black and white, fitted capris and a more swooshy pair of a cross between yoga pants and plazzo pants from the early 90's in a gorgette-like fabric.

Ok, now on to the good stuff.

First off, look at this adorable skirt. It comes in at least 2 colours that I know of (this shocking blue and a creamy white). It looks like it is just the perfect length and drape to be that flirty summer nights skirt that every fabulous fatshionista should have in her closet. I do hope this comes in a range of colours that includes... well... pretty much every colour in the rainbow and then some!

Ok, moving on.

In the perfectly dressed category isn't this just the perfect "Crud, I need to work today and it is such a gorgeous day outside" shirt? Certainly nice enough for any office, but with just a touch of "bite me, if it is this nice out I am going to enjoy it" to make you feel great all day. Oh my gosh do I hope it comes in white so I can wear it with the skirt in the other picture as well as every other skirt in my wardrobe.

One last image to leave you with is this gorgeous dress that I think is going to make an awesome bathing suit cover-up for by the pool, lake, or day when it is so hot you just need to find a fountain to splash in (for those in Toronto, the one in Riverdale Park is Awesome!).

Obviously it can be worn its own also, but lets just say I need a little bit more of a support network than that dress can comfortably care for.

It comes in at least one other set of colours. Bold blue with a bright pink band below the bust.

Toronto Spring Clothing show
Location:  Booth 213, Better Living Centre, Exhibition Place
Hours:      Friday 3-9 (Opening night party with Fashion shows, and live music), Saturday 11am-9pm, Sunday 11am-7pm
Tickets:     $8 Online,        $10 @ Door

***PLEASE NOTE***
Gutsy Dame will be accepting cash only at the show.

Junonia

2008-04-28T17:29:00.002-04:00

I just wanted a final update to the snowpants issue.

I indeed get a gift certificate in the mail to the store and I look orward to using it at a store that has shown that they clearly value good customer service.

Don't take this personally, but...

2008-04-28T17:18:00.002-04:00

Ok, is it just me or does anything that starts off with some various of "Don't take this so personally (or the catchy alternative, "Why are you taking this so personally") is generally going to be both A) incredibly insulting and B) something I am going to take personally?

Yes I know there is a time and a place for emotionless debate, even over topics of a personal or sensitive nature, but when someone says/writes/implies something negative about me and the way I happen to life, can someoen eplain to me why I should not take it personally? Because it was directed at an entire group and not me personally? BUT I AM PART OF THAT GROUP!!!

Would it ever be okay to say "I have no idea what Canadians have that they think they should be proud of" to a Canadian and not expect them to take it personally? Hell no! So why is it okay to say it about fat people?

Not only that, but to then continue "I can say whatever I want and if it insulted you then you are just being a big fat (no joke intended) baby who takes everything way too personally."

I love when it is followed by "but some of my best friends/family/pets are... _____". So how exactly is that supposed to make it better? Because you are also insulting someone you know and like I should not be upset at being insulted? How does that work exactly?

Ok, sorry for the vent. This situation has just pissed me off more than it should. I am not a lover of internet drama so I have chosen to just let this die, but I am just still trying to figure out how not to take "The world would be a much better place without fat people" personally.

Grrrrrr

2008-04-25T11:56:00.002-04:00

Someone on my friend's list on my regular life blog just put up a post based on an article on a MONEY site, about what if no one were fat and how we would all be much more financially secure. This is a person who has a number of medical conditions that many people do not recognize as "real" conditions (Although I do) so you would think to know better. I should add I have tried to be supportive of her when she needed it, even going so far as to send her medication available here and not there and putting my own business liscences at risk to do so.

Obviously it would be highly inappropriate for me to repost a private post here, but the gist of it, is.

She says that she does not "understand that whole "feminist fat pride" movement". She comments that "It just freaks me out that a group of people can be so determined to be unhealthy".

She goes on to compare being fat to smoking. Talks about how heaven forbid anyone should be allowed to say anything about a fat person encroaching on your space on an airplane. But it is okay... she finished with "some of my best friends/family/etc are..."

Well, surprise, surprise I could not keep myself from leaving a comment.

I have no idea why you decided to post on this, but it is similar to me saying in my journal that (her various issues) is all in people's heads without having ever lived through it. Lots of articles have been written about that too. If they would only stop making excuses for why they can not hold regular jobs...

Your comparison to smoking is is both insulting and wrong. Obesity affects me and how people see me. I am not forcing anything on you.
Being near a smoker affects everyone around them. There is no such thing as 2nd hand fat.

How is a person taking up more space on an airplane is something almost every single person on the flight does. Ever recline your seat? Well now you are in the space of the person behind you. Use an armrest? Fall asleep leaning to one side?

Since when is an airline, out to make money by craming as many people into a small space as possible, our arbiter of what is the right size for a human being? If tomorrow they decide that they should narrow the seats a little more so that women with hips of any sort no longer fit, would that just mean giving birth should disqualify you from flying without paying for a 2nd seat? How about a family member who is almost 7 feet tall? Should he be disqualified because of the lack of legroom? Forced to fly first lass? I'll tell you, I flew for the first time in ages in December after years of voices like the one you raise in this article scaring the shit out of me, and you want to know something? I sat by the window. I "fit" fine, and my tiny 4 year old was into the next seat as she fell asleep leaning over.

And people are not proud of the fat itself. We are proud of who they are and that we can love ourselves and accept ourselves regaurdless of size. Something many people overlook. I am learning slowly that I *AM* both fat and fabulous. I have spent a lifetime being told how I was no good because I am fat. Believing that I did not deserve nice clothes, or a boyfriend, or anything else. Guess what, neither you not my family are going to make me feel badly anymore for who I am and the shape God has made me.

Grrrrrrrrrr. Am I out of line or do I have a right to find this annoying?

2008-04-07T22:55:00.004-04:00

Sorry about the lack of posts. I was dealing with a death in the family.

I had to come on though just to mention that Lane Bryant now ships to Canada and has Canadian prices!

Ok, they are certainly not the be all and end all of fatshion, but they are a great place with semi reasonable prices for basics.

Seriously go check them out :)

And now an add from our sponser

2008-03-25T12:44:00.004-04:00

PhonyArt on Etsy
Your look, Your size.

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Fat Lady here, and rather proud of it.

2008-03-18T17:10:00.003-04:00

Today there was a carnival at my daughter's school, and parents were asked to attend. Since it started less than an hour after I dropped her off, and I do not have access to a car during the day, I decided the easiest thing to do would be to find myself an unused, out of the way corner, turn on my i-pod, and get some work done.

I found a nice little spot on the back stair case. I sat on the landing with my feet on the step below me. I knew it was not a problem because the director saw me and asked why I was "parking myself" there, but when I said it just did not make sense to go home. I passingly wondered if the "Parked" comment was a "size of a truck" joke, then remembered who I was dealing with and that she is one of the nicest women in the world and told myself to grow up. There is no way in hell that is what she meant.

Shortly thereafter, I start hearing "Hey, there's a fat lady on the stairs" coming from a bunch of kindergarten students on the 2nd floor (who are clearly out of class without permission and I hear their teacher ordering them back in). "You gotta come see this! It's a fat lady on the stairs".

I must have been bright red. I was both embarrassed and angry. How dare they!?!? I thought about the lovely thing I could say them. "Yeah, well, I could lose weight you will still be idiots" Um, hello? They are 5. What sort of bitch am I?

Ok, lets use this to teach a lesson. It is a religious school after all. I could remind them that "God made me just like God made you and are they making fun of something God created?" Yeah, I could say that. And then they could look at me like I am nuts. Remember, they are 5.

Well, maybe I should I just tell them it is not nice to make fun of people?

Then I realized something. What were they making fun of?

I am a fat lady. In fact, it is a fairly good descriptor of me. Am I fat? Clearly. Do I do my best to always act like a lady? Well, at least in public. These kids were not necessarily making fun of me, they were just commenting on what their eyes were showing them.

Would I prefer for people to look at me and say "Skinny Bitch" or "Gorgeous Loner"? I think not! Ok in my heart of hearts I might prefer Gorgeous Lady, but lets face it, to someone 3 feet tall my girth might be noticed before my "pretty face" (which incidentally is something else I hate hearing... well, not the pretty face bit -- it is that "but" that always goes with it!)

(So I never did say anything because I heard the teacher telling them off for being out of class and for yelling any "not nice names" at anyone, especially adults so I figured they already got told. Also, by the time I finished this whole little shenanigin in my head they were already gone. I either need to learn to think faster or speak without thinking. Of course, had I done that I would have just said "Oh yeah? Well I am rubber and your gluuuuuuuuuue...").

Sale at my place :)

2008-03-16T23:13:00.001-04:00

This week only.

Free!!!

Yes the world does revolve around me dangle earrings

with any purchase over $30.
Available in jade, rose quartz, white agate, onyx, mother of pearl or hematite.

Just quote "fatshion" in the buyer notes.

http://www.phonyart.etsy.com

Look at me! Look at me!

2008-03-14T10:15:00.002-04:00

Someone liked my work enough to interview me for a blog with a nice sized readership. Not only that, but that someone is the someone who put together the Fatshion search engine.

Go check me (and Diana from FatChic) out here.

Snow Pants follow up from Junonia; Score +1 for customer service!

2008-03-12T23:55:00.003-04:00

Ok, so less than a week after posting my entry about how I was fooled by Junonia who had adversized having snow pants but when I got there I could not find them, I cam home to a surprise in my inbox.

I received a note from a Customer Service Supervisor and Operations Specialist at Junonia explaining that although they did have, they are now just sold out for the season. She offered me a gift certificate to use next year towards the purchase of a pair of waterproof pants.

She commented that she well understands the importance of warm and dry clothing and looked forward to further communication.

Score 1 for Junonia customer service!

Ego boost for me - someoen is actually reading my blog!

Winter Outer Wear

2008-03-09T23:44:00.002-04:00

I spent this afternoon playing outside in the mountains of snow with my husband and my daughter. It was great fun, and for the most part we were all bundled up in a bunch of layers so we stayed warm enough.

My daughter has a great bright pink snowsuit. The snowsuits out for kids are great. Bright colours. Great fabrics.

My husband has a nice dark pair of waterproof pants. For some strange reason he chose not to wear them, but that was entirely his business. He also has a great ski jacket that he loves and keeps him snuggly warm.

As for me, I have a wonderful suede winter coat that I have had for almost 10 years now. I remember, I spent a couple hundred bucks on it when I first got it, and my mom made a big deal that I BETTER wear it for a number of years at that price. I figure amortized over the 10 years I have had it so far, even minus the cost of a new zipper two years ago, I have gotten my money's worth.

What do I not have? I do not have anything that could have, would have, or should have protected my legs from the cold and the wet. I wore a pair of leggings, under a pair of sweats, under a skirt, and I still came in soaking wet from the thigh down.

In a quick google search I was pleased to find that Junonia claimed to have plus sized snowpants. Of course, when I got to their website I found that there were none listed. Oh, they have one piar of " PerfecTemp™ Fleece Pant" but they are not in any way waterproof. Google could not turn up one single pair of waterprrof pants even of the non-warm variety that I could just use over sweats.

I live in CANADA people. It is cold and there is a lot of snow so that makes it cold and wet. Yes extra body weight helps keep mammals warm, but it does not keep us from getting soaked.

If anyone knows of anywhere that sell plus sized snowpants could you please let me know? I am tired of not getting to play in the snow.

Plus sized search engine

2008-03-04T12:55:00.002-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages, please allow me to introduce the newest innovation in online fatshion,

THE FAT CHIC SEARCH ENGINE

Until now, if you needed a pair of purple leather pants, you would have to google "purple leather pants, then wade through the millions of hits that were meant for size 2 fashion models, and it would take 1000 hits before you might find even one meant for fatshionistas like ourselves. Diana over at Fat Chic has created a search engine designed to search only plus sized stores. This means that you will only get purple leather pants in stores that cater to plus sized women!

Now, I know this is still a pain for Canadians in that most of those stores still refuse to ship north of the border (silly people don't realize we have money to spend and like to look good), but it is still a great place to start. Just type your want into the box on the top right and away you go!

It is not perfect, and I know she is still working on it, but for now it is a GIANT first step towards making online shopping more fat friendly.

New Shop of Mine

2008-03-04T12:44:00.003-05:00

RAINBOWEAR!!

I love working with bright colours, and, after some pushing from friends looking for rainbow wear that did not look as if it was created for preschoolers, have decided to open a 2nd shop to market this work.

Because of the ever present rainbows I am marketing towards the tblgay community, however this work is meant for everyone. It is bright and colourful without being too over the top for every day wear.

http://www.pridefashion.etsy.com

Breakthrough Moment

2008-02-14T00:06:00.005-05:00

So yesterday I had a really busy day and it was 4 o'clock before I realized that I had not eaten all day and I was starving. I was at a subway station and facing 45 minutes on the subway before a 15 minute walk home.

I stopped at the Gateway shop at Warden station and bought, horror of horrors, an orange juice and a bag of potato chips (hey, when you keep strictly kosher and can not eat dairy there are not a whole lot of healthy subway station options).

Being a fat girl and not wanting anyone to decide to randomly tell me how awful I was for eating, especially junk food, in public I shoved the stuff into my purse.

I got on the subway (ok, Warden Station has to be the only place in the city where you need to go UP 2 flights of steps to get to the subway) and tried to open things as quietly as possible so no one would notice. Eating out of my purse.

I kept looking around as if waiting to see who would "catch" me.

Want to know something? No one was looking at me at all! No one cared what the hell anyone else was doing. We were all caught up in staring out into space and trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Believe it or not I am not the centre of everyones world. I know! Who would have thunk it? No one, and I mean NO ONE was looking at me and thinking how awful I was. In fact no one was looking at me at all!

What a rush.

So if I combine this with the shmuck who insulted me at the Eaton's Centre a few months ago, we learn that apparently only lonely losers with nothing better to do go around staring at strangers and trying to figure out how to insult them.

2008-02-11T10:05:00.001-05:00

Good afternoon Ladies and Jellyspoons

I come before you to stand behind you
And tell you something I know nothing about

Next Thursday,which is Good Friday,
there will be a Mothers meeting,for Fathers only.

Wear your best clothes if you haven't any,
and if you can come, please stay at home.

Admission's free pay at the door.
Take a seat and sit on the floor.

And now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Plussize clothing Swap

2008-02-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

Tentatively

Feb 24, say, 7? My place. Right near Lawrence West subway station. Please email a reply to swap@phony-art.com so I can create an invite list.

Toronto plus-size clothing swap?

2008-02-05T16:09:00.001-05:00

Would anyone be interested?

2008-02-05T00:42:00.001-05:00

Some of my own past work. Mostly available on Etsy in my shop.

SALE!

2008-02-03T13:34:00.000-05:00

I got an email from maximum woman this morning about their "Come and get it" sale. Sales rack with tops for $10, bottoms for $15, and dresses for 50% off! There are also daily door crashers on their sale page. Winter jackets are also on sale.

For free shipping on online orders over $160 (before taxes) use coupon code FREE
Join their mailing list for a coupon for a free on sale top with in store purchase over $75.

Sale on from now until Valentines day.

Look! Look! It's me!

2008-01-29T22:07:00.000-05:00

http://thisisitcreations.blogspot.com

How cool is this! I get to to be on someone else's blog!

Ok, I know, I know. I should not look to other people for my own vlaue, but this is neat!

Ssssshhhhh... It's a secret

2008-01-28T16:07:00.000-05:00

It looks like I am going to be joining a new fat focused web portal for online shopping as a seller. I will post way more information once their site is closer to being up and running, but in the meantime, um,

COOL! :)

Wowsers! DIY formalwear

2008-01-22T14:21:00.000-05:00

Raise your hand if you are above a size 10 and have ever had trouble finding the perfect formal dress. Do I see every single reader raising their hand emphatically and jumping up and down screaming "Me! Me! Me!"

Well have found an awesome solution.

Coco Myles Formal Wear is a DIY formalwear site for the non sewers amongst us. They have a selection of tops and bottoms in a number of styles, add-ons including everything bows to shawls to beading, a selection of fabrics, and best of all everything comes in every size from 2 to 32! The price difference in the larger sizes is so minimal (roughly $20) that you know it is just the cost of extra fabric.

They also include this caveat in their FAQ

"If you need a dress larger than size 32, or smaller than a size 2, then we can create it for you."

Yes ladies, they are willing to work with you to create a dress that will make you feel like a princess! They can do everything from a little black dress to celebrity look-a-likes straight from the red carpet.

I just sat and played with their dress maker thingy for half an hour in awe.

Their size chart and "how to measure" page are well laid out and easy to use. They even provide a printable measuring tape in case you do not have one.

They are also willing to shorten/lengthen their dresses for $10... less than I would pay my local seamstress.

Plus sized dresses ran around the $150 mark, but the most expensive one that I could put together was still under $220 (including assumed shortening as I am short). Well within one I would expect to pay for a custom dress... heck, within what I would expect to pay for a formal off the rack dress!

So shipping is what it really comes down to. I have to say that this is where the plan falls apart a little. $40 for shipping is a little steep. On the other hand, when you work it in to the price of the dress it is still not entirely unreasonable. They also have shipping deals if you are buying more than one item (say dresses for a bridal party, all available from one site, in matching fabrics, in every size).

A little of my own recent work. Plus sized rings

2008-01-15T22:13:00.000-05:00

I don't know about everyone else, but finding fin and fashionable rings in larger sizes seems to be next to impossible! Rings are actually one of the first pieces of jewelery I made because I pretty much gave up on ever finding anything reasonable priced.

Please do not misunderstand me. I know that I can always have a ring resized to a larger size (and in fact do it frequently for my customers), but they always look like "regular" rings sized up, and not like they were designed to look right at their current size.

My rings are available custom made to a size 15. I actually use larger size stone, and create my patterns with graduated sized cutwork so my pieces never look like "little rings made bigger" and instead look balanced and harmonious.

Top right is sterling silver and amethyst. The centre stone is 10mm across and a gorgeous dark purple colour with no visible flaws. Bottom left is a hammered sterling silver band with a 5mm dark green emerald and no additional embellishments. It has a very rustic, almost viking-like look to it and never fails to get noticed. These items are no longer available in my etsy store, but can be remade to order in any size imaginable.

A couple of shows

2008-01-11T00:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, so The Fuller Woman's Expo and I are talking about a more reasonable price point for their show. I want to do it. I really want to do it both for the good of my business and to help grow the market segment that is basically being ignored up here north of the 49th parallel. It is really just a matter of if it will work out to the greater good of both sides.

I think (and hope) that it will work out.

In other news I am also trying to put together a group for Jewish Artisans here in the city and am looking at putting together a show where we can show our work without needing to compete against the cheap, machine-made stuff that fills so many craft shows lately. There are so many shows in which many of us not able to participate (be it that they are Saturday, holidays, or for causes we can not bring ourselves to support), that it will be nice to have one show that is catered around our own needs.

As of today it looks like we *might* even have a location down in Kensington for the show. Now there are a million other things to deal with, but if we can get enough artists, we may host a wine and cheese reception with 10% of all proceeds going to a charity still to be decided as a group. I would like to get a variety of people including perhaps a classical musician to really "glam it up" a little.

Please note, I will NOT turn away not Jewish artists, I just want to give the option first to those of us for whom many of the other shows are unaccessible.

I think I am in way over my head, but if it works it could be wonderful.

Anyone have any thoughts on the ideas? Anyone want to get involved?

So who is actually reading? CONTEST!!!

2008-01-07T12:18:00.000-05:00

I know people are reading this blog because I see the numbers going up daily, but I am sooooo curious as to who is making those numbers take flight! I am not sure how to get people commenting here so that I can see who y'all are. Do you think a contest would work? Why not take a go.

Ok, so all you have to do is leave a comment, any comment. On Sunday I will take all the names, stick them into a random generator (also called a hat) and see which one comes up. The person whose name is the jumpiest and sticks to my fingers will receive an amethyst and sterling silver pendant (seen to the right) on a sterling silver chain (not shown).

Yes ladies (and gentlemen?) all you have to do is stroke my ego with one little comment and this lovely piece could be winging it's way to you via Canada Post so the two of you can begin long and happy lives together.

(Feel free to comment anonymously so long as it is nothing rude or inappropriate, but do be aware that if I do not know who you are I can not enter your name into the hat).

The Fuller Woman Expo

2008-01-06T11:07:00.000-05:00

When I opened my email last night I was pleasantly surprised to have received an email from a woman who was connected with a group running a new show called "The Fuller Woman Expo". She claimed to have come across this blog and seen some of my work and that I was exactly what they were looking for.

I went to check out their website and it does seem that they are genuinely trying to get something that sounds like it is a great idea off the ground. They want to try to change the way plus sized women are seen from "a problem that needs fixing" to "a market segment niche that should be filled". Subtle difference really I guess when it comes to semantics, world of difference when it comes to how people are treated in the marketplace.

I have no idea how much entrance will be as a visitor/shopper, but I do have to say that as a vendor, as much as I like the idea, there is no way I am willing or able to participate. They are charging over 5x per day what the one of a kind show does, and over double what I would spend to participate in the Toronto Clothing Show. I don't know any sellers on the home based market who would pay that much per day for a long running established show, let alone for a brand-spanken-new upstart.

I support fat friendly shows and sites 100%, but that does not mean that I can let myself, as a small business owner, get gouged in order to do so.

On the other hand, if admission as a shopper is not an arm and a leg you can but I am going to be there with plus sized bells on! A whole show of shopping catering to me where there is a prayer I can actually "shop" rather than "browse" excites the heck out of me!

Thank God for my health (and health are provider)

2008-01-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

I want to take one sec here to thank the lord for health care providers who see beyond the fat and through to the real problem. I came home from our vacation (Capital S) SICK.

My joints were killing me, especially my hips, kneed and ankles. I could barely breathe and when I tried to suck in air it felt like my ribs were fighting by cramping and trying to suffocate me. When I coughed (which I did often as this lovely little nuisance also came with "cold-like symptoms") my head felt like it was being split in two across my forehead and behind my eyes with a hot vice.

My family doctor, who I loved, recently quit her practice, and even though she was part of a team with walk in accepted, now none of the team will see any of her patience... Left me stranded with no notice, and finding a new doctor here right now is next to impossible. Fortunately I had an in with someone who is great for day to day, but as he is the spouse of a friend I am not sure how comfortable I would be with anything big. Don't for one minute though think I am concerned about any impropriety or breech of confidentiality- merely awkwardness after. I would 100000% recommend him to anyone else, and do know some of my other friends use him as well.

I fell asleep watching the hockey game at a friend's house on the floor and when I woke up I was tempted to rip off my own head. Ok, so I called him New Years eve, at home. Yes, I was that miserable.

Not a single "loose weight and you will feel better" in site. I gave him 2 symptoms, he asked me about all the rest of them (as he hit the nail on the head on all of them I am pretty sure he was right). He told me what to do, how do deal with it, and what to look out for. The whole exchange took maybe 10 minutes.

All I can say is that I was thrilled not to have to worry about obnoxious comments when I felt like death. It is such a pleasure to have found a doctor that actually deals with the problem you bring to him rather than once the choose to take issue with that are not quite as pressing.

Honey... I'm Home...

2007-12-31T11:26:00.001-05:00

Yep. I am back from my vacation aboard the lavish and luxurious Caribbean Princess Cruise ship. Wow!

I was always terrified to do one of these vacations. First off, as someone who is Sabbath observant and keeps strictly kosher, there just seemed to be way too many cans of worms that needed opening. Second, when you put together all the recent news about fat people on air planes being treated terribly with everything I had heard about how tiny staterooms on cruise ships were, I just did not think that I would "fit in" overly well.

Being as this vacation was a family thing and was decided on for me I just needed to suck it all up and make it work.

And wow did it work.

I had NOTHING to be nervous about. The seats in all waiting rooms at both airports were wide enough and then some. Even at my size I had no trouble with flight seats (although my travel agent insisted that I would, forced us to pay full fair for a 2nd seat, and then the airline did not even give it to us. Even the 3 we did get were seats A & C then D across the isle!)

I did get a belt extended, but I needed to ask for it. No one assumed that just cause I was bigger than "normal" I needed any extra help. It was actually a very pleasant experience, and now I know that airplanes are not the horror houses I thought they were.

Not only that, but on our flight home we had a fat (not chubby, not big boned, FAT) stewardess.

I would like to take just one second to thank Air Canada for a wonderful, fat friendly, courteous, and relaxing flight that was way beyond what I expected.

And now on to the rest of the trip.

The stateroom was enormous compared to what I was led to believe. I had no trouble with the shower, or other facilities at all. The beds were terrible, but as that was a common complaint I suspect that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with lousy beds.

As I am orthodox I do not swim in public without a long t shirt (I maintain my personal standards regardless of where I am, my knees are always covered as are my upper arms... it is a modesty thing... not an "I hate my arms thing" as my upper arms are not half bad as I spend most of my time working on those muscles while sawing, filing, etc!) but there were loads of people, my size and larger, swimming with no comments, dirty looks or discrimination that I could see.

Deck chairs were very (VERY!) roomy and comfortable. In fact, I never had a problem with ANY chair, including the arm chairs in the formal dining-rooms, throughout the entire cruise (Although I was asked at one point discreetly if I would prefer a chair with no arms and said no).
Even the robes were an okay fit! In fact, everything they sold in their ships stores went up to a 4x standard, and it was a large 4x.

So, to make short that which is already rather long. This entire trip turned out to be such an incredible, fat-friendly, self esteem boosting, comfortable trip that not only would I recommend the cruise line/air line and give them both a full 5 stars for comfort and courtesy, but I would do it again in a heartbeat.

The right shape for your face

2007-12-19T17:24:00.001-05:00

Trying to figure out how to bring out your best features? Did you know that right shaped earrings can frame your face and help complete that stunning work of art you were born with?

A round chin can be complemented beautifully by long, tappered earrings, however, for those of us blessed with cheeks and chins to spare this is not always enough. The balance often looks a little off.

One of the solutions is an earing that only appears to taper, but actually has a little substance at the bottom. While the earrings posted look like they taper, they actually come to frame your face and pull emphasis from your chin and place it around your eyes.

Be the talk of the party with these beautiful 3 inch dangling earrings. The slight tinkle as you move will call all attention to exactly where you want it. The gorgeous op-art design will keep it there!

Don't forget to pay attention to the hardware in earrings as well. I have found that there are very few people out there who do not have incredibly long and thin necks with their ears set somewhat away from their heads who can comfortably wear standard fish hook earrings. Be aware that there are other shape alternatives that may be more comfortable as well as more secure. I prefer (and use almost exclusively) a rounder earwire that situates the "dangle" slightly away from the earlobe.

Not even all posts are created equal. "Industry Standards" set the standard to 8-10mm long and 0.8-1mm thick. I find I can not get 1mm posts into my holes, and have made posts for clients as long as 15mm so as not to squish earlobes.

Earrings are a "luxury item", so shouldn't they make you look at feel luxurious when you wear them?

Gutsy Dame

2007-12-18T17:36:00.000-05:00

Okay ladies, not only have I got a great review of another new Toronto seller, but she is currently having a sale and a contest!

Gusty Dame, a relatively new face in the world of plus size shopping in Toronto, is breaking into the scene in a big way. Although she has been "live" online for a while, this 1ast weekend marked her 2nd Toronto Clothing Show. She is showing the Toronto fashion community that fat does not mean frumpy.

How incredibly cute is this simple black strapless dress. Wear it plain as a cute little black dress, or dress it up into high fashion with some awesome accessories (ok, so here is a little plug for me... so sue me... I managed to go a couple weeks without it... I was due. I am drooling just thinking of all the accessories I have for which it would make an incredible backdrop!)

I also managed to find what might just be the perfect pair of jeans for my body shape. Bootcut, big butt and thighs, smallish waist. There is a god and apparently he is designing jeans for Gutsy Dame!

Although her clothing only goes up to a 4x, she actually gives the measurements for bust and waist (I hope hips and length will follow soon) so you can actually take a good guestimate if things are really going to fit. My favourite thing about her website is that you can input your own measurements and "browse by measurement". It is a great way to only bring up pieces that will actually work for you.

Another big plus (apart from really trendy clothing, reasonable shipping, no border crossing, and a growing list of resources) is the use of real plus size models. No, not size 12s who are strapped in to shapewear so tight their eyes are bulging out of their heads. Real, honest to goodness plus size women who can give you some idea of how this stuff is actually going to look on you.

All in all, a wonderful new addition to the Canadian plus sized market.

Etsyplus

2007-12-18T01:41:00.000-05:00

I am getting involved with a team on Etsy that is dedicated to bringing awsome Indie design to the plus size community. I have made it clear that I am willing to ork only with those who ship to Canada without robbing Canadian's blind.

If this works out it is going to be amazing... my wardrobe will look incredible... unfortunatly, I will also be dirt poor.

Attention those near Oakville Ontario

2007-12-13T23:06:00.000-05:00

One last show this season. I met a guy at the CB show and he is hosting a show for his own products (amazing hand milled soaps... I bought one and adore it!) next Thursday night about 2/3 of the way between here and Hamilton. Both of our product lines will be available for sale. He is offering a whopping 20% off his stuff.

I would love if those nearby would come out and join us. I will email out directions to anyone available.

His stuff is all natural and smells amazing!

Bon Bon - Only Beautiful Clothes for Everyone

2007-12-12T00:48:00.000-05:00

I just came across the shop Bon Bon on Etsy. Oh my gosh! It has some of the most incredible handmade clothing, and the best part is, IT IS ALL AVAILABLE FOR ME TO WEAR! If you send her your measurements and she custom makes each item at no additional cost. She does a unique appliqué on many of the pieces.

I have never seen such awsomeness in detailing on plus sized clothing as in the wool jumper (left). That happens to be a cut that looks really good on me with a high waist and high bust, and it is one that I find exceptionally hard to find in ready made plus size designs.

I have not yet purchased anything from the site, but it certainly has promise and a whole heck of a lot of things going for it. On top of the points that I have already listed, she is Canadian and has shipping for the incredibly reasonable price of $8 for the first item and $5 for any additional ones. For warm heavy clothing that is a pretty great rate!

The lines in her work are stunning and much of it will look fantastic on me. Ok, in so far as I ever think anything looks fantastic on me anyway.

The wool fishtail applique skirt (right) just jumped to first place on my "Ohmygod I need that!" list. I do not even know where to begin on exactly how spectacular everything about this skirt really is.

I am looking forward to making enough sales of my own to be able to purchase some of her gorgeous work!

Pay It Forward offer at my other site

2007-12-11T23:17:00.001-05:00

I just wanted to let readers here know about an offer on my other blog at http://phonyart.blogspot.com . I am running a "Pay it Forward" offer. This means, that the first 3 people to sign up over there and follow the rules will receive a totally FREE item from Phony-Art.com.

No shipping charges, no hidden charges, nothing.

Big it up Massey Hall!

2007-12-09T01:51:00.001-05:00

Tonight I was all excited as I was given tickets to go see a jazz concert at Massey Hall. The concert itself (Sofie Millman) was excellent. The opening act had one of the best piano players I have ever seen! The acoustics in Massey Hall are absolutely spectacular and it sounds like you are right in the middle of the band no matter where you are sitting. Every single note was crystal clear and perfectly reverberated. There is reason that the hundred plus year old hall is still in use.

That reason is assuredly NOT the gallery seats.

First, you have to schlepp up a million steps to get to the seats, but I knew that and frankly, I can manage. We got to the top with no trouble, and were ready to take our seats. I should mention that a better name for the "Gallery" might be the "Stratosphere" as they are at roughly the equivalent height.

Now, at my size being comfortable in seats can be a bit of an issue. I am slightly worried about when I fly in a couple weeks and how it is all going to work out. But I have NEVER had a situation in which I was so uncomfortable I could not bear it and had to leave.

That being said, it was not just me. My very, very tall and skinny husband was also incredibly uncomfortable. My average sized mother was in incredible amounts of pain. I was just the only one willing to do something rather than just sit there and take it.

In short, the gallery seats at Massey Hall are a abomination against all that is good in this world. Apart from the fact that they are wood and splintering, they are also packed on top of each other so the smell off the smoker next to my husband was killing about 5 of us in any direction. I am also fairly certain that only a prepubescent boy would have enough hip space. Those seats were certainly not meant for adults whose hips have birthed children!

My mother is by no means a tall woman guesstimating her height up to a whopping five foot four inches, but there was not enough room to accommodate her legs. She was forced to spend the entire duration of the concert sitting sideways with her legs in the isle. I got to spend part of the concert watching my six foot tall husband's knees become one with his chin!

As for me, forget it. After spending the first two thirds of the concert in the agony of being squashed between my husband, my mother, and the idiot in front of me bopping to the music and slamming his chair into knee every three seconds, I gave up and sat in the isle. As none of the ushers said a word to me I get the feeling this is a fairly standard occurrence.

One of a Kind

2007-12-04T21:19:00.001-05:00

So I spent Sunday afternoon at the One of a Kind craft show. As always it was full of stuff I wanted but did not need, and stuff I needed but for various reasons did not want (various reasons including too epensive, not the right colours, etc.)

I am pretty sure that this is not the first year they have had it divided into "villages" where there was an entire section for lothing, another for food, another for visual art, etc, but I can say that this is the first year I have actually noticed that these divisions worked fairly well.

Of the many lothing vendors there were 2 who carried clothing in larger sizes. A 3rd claimed to have "plus" sizes but those stopped at a size 12. Since when is size 12 a "plus? In any case.

The two who did have plus sizes had exquisite stuff.

Babs billed themselves as "Real sizes for real women" and I have to say they were pretty on the mark with their claim. Carrying from size 2 through 26 they had a large and varied selection of unique items. I *believe that all items are available in all sizes, but do not quote me on that. Bonus points for using some plus sized models on their website.

They did not have a huge selection but what they did have looked to be well made and reasonable priced for high end handmade clothing.

My personal favourite (if I had money to burn) is this gorgeous Wild Silk Opera Jacket. The silk was just amazing to touch and the colour is to die for! Every detail is perfect right down to the back pleat for ease of movement.

If anyone wants to buy me a holiday gift this just might be it!

Olga Saras Knit Gallery (no website, but the phone number provided is 647.436.6967) was another fantasti surprise. With prices about what I would expect for handmade custom knits (yes, we are talking some major money here) I was quite sorry to have not recently won the lottery. They had a knitted skirt that FLARED at the knee into a spiderweb sort of pattern that I just adored!

From what I could tell their standard sizeing went up to a 2X, but as knits are stretchy that was the equivilant of at least a 4-5X. I hung on to the skirt for a long time before willing myself ot leave the shop. On the way out the woman added that if I was unsure about size ANY of their patterns could be custom made to size at the same price.

I jumped for joy and took a card. If I ever win the lottery I will certainly go back!

Now, on to the other clothing vendors.

There were a few that had some, what I would consider, "one size" items. There were some lush, hand painted silk scarves that would have made a fantastic gift for my grandmother. I went over to take a look at the booth selling handpainted silk, and the woman gave me half a look and then ignored me completely. I even had one saleswoman say "I do not think I have anything you are looking for."

Excuse me? Even if that is true, how do you know who I am shopping for? Maybe I saw something I liked as a gift? In any case, I ertainly did not give any of them a second look.

Granted, this did not only happen at clothing booths (I actually found the vendors this year to be incredibly rude! If you do not acknowledge my presence chances are you are not going to make a sale... I would rather give it to someone who looks up from their book once in a while).

CBC Christmas Boutique

2007-11-26T13:06:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone,

Phony Art will be participating in this years CBC Christmas Boutique to raise funds for breast cancer research. The sale is this Thursday, November 29th 2007 from 10am until 5 pm in lobby of the the CBC building at the corner of Front and John street in beautiful downtown Toronto in the heart of the Entertainment district.

We will be featuring our entire collection
of plus sized jewelery and accessories!!!

With jewelery and gift items for women, men, children, teens, and hostess gifts we have something for everyone on your holiday shopping list! Leave with your list complete and PhonyArt will even take care of the wrapping! Free gift with every purchase.

Don't forget PhonyArt is also available for home shows, appointments and online orders right up until December 20th for in stock items. Custom items are guaranteed for Christmas when ordered by December 5th 2007. Please stop by the new online shop at http://www.phonyart.etsy.com to see a sample of the new collections.

Happy Holidays to you and your families.

Remembering

2007-11-11T09:15:00.001-05:00

In Flanders Field the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

--Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

Know for whom the dress is donned.

2007-11-05T03:30:00.000-05:00

So far as I can see it, there are essentially two ways to choose your wardrobe. There is dressing for others and there is dressing for yourself.

Dressing for others includes such looks as the enormous flowered tent with a giant bow in the front. It means dressing to fit what people see as a fat woman image. It means conforming to what "fashion" tells us we should wear rather than what we like.

If you look at what fat women are generally being given to wear it says one thing. Please hide my body! It is designed to shame and to cloak our "dirty" and not so little, secret. Society says "Fat is Bad" therefore fat needs to disappear. It does not matter if we look like king size pillows. As long as not a single role is visible the rest of the world can pretend that we are just big skinny people. It is the beginning of a slippery slope that pushes "Fat Girls" into the margins of society.
By minimizing who and what we are it makes it that much easier to minimize what we do and what we can accomplish. It is only a small step from "Fat Girls should not wear stripes" to "Fat girls should not wear flight attendant uniforms" to "Fat girls should not be allowed to fly".

Then there is dressing for yourself. How many of us truly love mumus for anything other than, um, ok, let's face it, I can not really think of any good uses for mumus. (Yes, yes, I have heard the arguments that they are comfortable, easy, great for sleeping in, etc. but there are a number of other options out there that can fill those roles and look a lot better doing it!)

Dressing for yourself is making your wardrobe a part of who you are and giving off a first impression that tells people you want to be recognized for who you are. It tells the world "I am not hiding behind my clothes, I am using my clothes to make a statement about who I am. I am not going to let fashion dictate that I should disappear.

So wear what makes you feel good and think of it as a statement for both Fat Activism and your own psyche.

Shopping. Part 1

2007-11-04T10:27:00.000-05:00

So the teacher in me has spent some time formulating the big question. "Do fat women get less pleasure out of shopping? Why or why not. Don't forget to give evidence to back up your answer." (Yep, that took 4 years of undergrad and a teacher's degree to come up with!)

Lets put aside for a moment the whole "stores are made for skinny people" thing and the frustration of never being able to find things that make us feel great. Lets take a trip into the land of make believe and imagine a store that carries every size from a 2 to a 52. It has every item in every size. Each piece of clothing is the same price as every other on just like it regardless of size.

The store is well advertized, well priced, easy to get to, and easy to navigate. Change rooms are large and functional with lots of mirrors, a chair, and a small table to hold your purse. The sales people are plesant, non pushy, and not paid on commission. They just want to see you happy, and have had sensagtivity training and really are just there to help. (See, we really are in fantasy land).

Antonio Banderes (in his Evita look) compliments every item of clothing personally and hands you a red rose with each purchase (hey, my fantasy land, my rules!)

I would be willing to bet that the store would still be mostly filled with women under a size 16.

Why is that?

Getting rid of all the other factors that we use as excuses to say we hate brick and morter shopping, we get right into the heart of the matter. Why is it that even in the setup I described, I would still feel people were staring at me and be embarrassed to reach in to the middle of the rack to find my size?

Even in stores that do cater to our needs we often still feel as if we are being judged.

It seems that we are conditioned to think of ourselves as somehow less worthy of having new things. Descartes is know to have said "I think, therefore I am". Are we taught to say "I eat, therefore I am not"?

Of course, up here in Toronto this is all a moot point. I can count the number of stores that service women like myself on one hand. I wonder if I am taking my life view from retailers who seem to be telling me that I am less worthy of having new things. "Sorry, we do not carry things for your kind here". Sure, that will make anyone feel great.

Fat women get less pleasure out of shopping because we feel like it is not something we are entitled to be doing based on the limited number of places that will actually cater to our needs.

OK, so we have now wandered the total length and breadth of the store and have actually managed to find a number of things that we want to try on. The friendly and helpful sales assistant helps get all the stuff the roomy, comfortable, well lit, mirrored fitting room.

Now comes the real fight. Does this skirt make me look "normal". Shit! You can still see that stupid bulge above my waist. Damn! This shirt make me look like that three breasted women from Star Wars (ok, that might make some men pant with envy, but it is never really the look I go for). Never mind what I hear of the search for the perfect jeans or pants!

Seems that one of the things people want from their clothes is that they hide their flaws. Guess what? Fat ain't hidable. You put on the most beautiful sweater in the known world and you are still just a fat chick in the sweater. We can not hide who we are and I think that is the final nail in the coffin. No matter what we wear or how we wear it, we are still just fat chicks in new clothes.

So the answer to the question I started with is "Yes fat women get less pleasure out of shopping." However, the caveat to that is that if we stop thinking of ourselves at "fat women" and start thinking of ourselves as plain old women who accept themselves for who and what they are (and who happen to be damn gorgeous women to boot!) most of our reasons for not shopping disappear.

So lets go out and celebrate the findings of this not so scientific study by shopping to our hearts content!

Interesting, if skewed, poll results

2007-10-31T01:13:00.001-04:00

So based on my lovely, non-scientific poll that only 4 people answered, it seems no one shops in brick and mortar stores, and no one shops from paper catalogs. Also, no one shops in thrift stores. That does not surprise me as I always find it depressing to re-learn that apparently vintage people were all built like sticks. Really, what the poll did was open two questions for me.

1) Why it is that we, as a whole, seem to take less pleasure from shopping "for real"?

2) Why are we often comfortable shopping online, but worry when shopping from a paper catalog that it might not fit right?

Any thoughts to add before I actually try to come up with answers?

It's official, CBC SHOW

2007-10-27T22:35:00.000-04:00

PhonyArt will be on the new vendors at this years CBC gift show. Now in it's 10th year the CBC craft show is an annual fundraiser for Breast Cancer research. If you are in Toronto please come by and check us out!

Thursday November 29th, 2007
10am-5pm

Christmas in the Heart of the Entertainment District

Canadian Broadcasting Centre (Front & John Streets)

Also, I have another show tentatively booked that night (crazy day!) for the Children's Wish Foundation at a night club but I am not sure I have the stock (or energy) for two shows in one day.

Today I am wearing horizontal stripes.

2007-10-25T15:27:00.000-04:00

Yes ladies. Today I am wearing black ribbed shirt with lots and lots of grey and ivory lines running across the front of it. Not only is it ribbed and striped, but it is also slightly chunky. I saw this shirt in a store and went, "No way. I don't wear horizontal stripes". But the price was really , really good, and I needed some new tops pretty badly.

So, against my better judgment (and pretty sure that I would get it home and stick it in a drawer never to see the light of day again) I bought the thing. I still can't tell you why, but I did. It sat in my drawer breaking every single rule I have been taught to live by. No stripes. Certainly no bold stripes. Absolutely no bold stripes across the chest. Never, ever, under any circumstances, let those stripes continue out onto the arms.

I wore it today (I am totally and completely out of clean shirts as I have been working like a lunatic the last few days and laundry has sort of taken a backseat to, well, pretty much everything).

I love this shirt! It looks fantastic. Whatever it is about this striped/ribbed combo, it has the stripes lying really nicely. I feel like a total rebel for breaking all the "rules", but that in itself feels sort of neat.

So, moral of my story. Toss the rules in the drawer never to see the light of day, and try on anything that catches your eye because you never know how it will look.

incidentally, as this is a Toronto based blog, I should mention that the shirt came from Zellers and I got it on sale for $15 :)

Winter clothing show

2007-10-23T01:02:00.000-04:00

So I think i am stuck in a little bit of a catch 22.

I am thinking of participating in the Winter clothing show. It is notoriously non-fat-friendly. To the best of my knowledge there is only one vendor who even carries any plus sized clothes.

Great right, go in, sell my stuff, have a bit of a captive audience.

The thing is, I think most of us plussies know that, and so we do not even bother going to the show.

So I might get there, hoping for a captive audience, only to find that there is no one there to whom I can sell anything!

I am curious. To those who are reading this. Do you bother going to this sort of thing? should I take that leap and be the big fish in the small pond?

2007-10-17T01:23:00.000-04:00

Tonight I saw something fantastic.

I was sitting in the Starbucks at Queen and Dovercourt enjoying a night out with a friend of mine and in walks the most stylish woman I have seen in a long time. She was dressed in this awesome black and white striped dress with bright red accents. Tall black boots, and a dark brown shawl completed her look. This was a woman who was dressed to be noticed, and it was working. She looked incredible.

She was also hands down the largest woman I have ever seen. And I have seen myself so it is not like I have nothing tom compare to!

She was accompanied by an average looking guy. Looked nice enough, nothing special. The two of them strode into the coffee shop and headed up to the counter. He ordered a coffee, she ordered a hot chocolate and a pastry.

One drunk idiot in the corner pipes up with "don't you think you should just get a water".

The cashier looks over his shoulder at the idiot, and says "You only wish you could look that good! Maybe if you have the hot chocolate and pastry you can be more like her".

It was awsome!

Three cheers for the counter guy at Starbucks!

So now being fat is is a "removable" fault?

2007-10-14T22:52:00.000-04:00

Slimming photos with HP digital cameras

http://www.hp.com/united-states/consumer/digital_photography/tours/slimming/index_f.html

This is absolutely unbelievable. I was poking around HP's website this afternoon looking for some info on my printer that is giving me some trouble. I managed to come across this interesting headline and figured that I needed to take a look.

Apparently, there, hidden amongst the other "enhancements" on new HP digital cameras, right under "fix pet red eye" is their new "slimming" feature. According to the on-site demo, it sort of selectively narrows everything in the foreground. Yep. Now, please do not get me wrong. I have no problem with the ability to get rid of real flaws... things that are not there in actuality but show up in pictures. Most of us do not go around wearing red contacts and would rather have the flash-glare removed.

What the !@#$%???

Ok, I get it. Society wants me to feel like I am less than nothing. That I should have no part of humanity. That I should be willing to sacrifice my very existence and livelihood so that others should not be forced to view my disgusting physique if they do not want to. But this is new. This goes beyond finding fault with me to actually being given the control to change this fault and make it as if my "faults" have never existed! Apparently now fat people can not even be remembered in photos for who we are.

I guess what has me so upset about this is that you would never see this as a "feature" if it pertained to any other physical attribute that was actually a part of the "subject". If there was a "feature" to turn black skin white, or blue eyes brown, or make short people taller, the public would be up in arms! They would scream racism, sexism, whatever had even the slightest connection to the case at hand.

Can you imagine how this new feature is going to effect all those preteens who want to live up to todays unrealistically "heroine chic" fashion model look? Now they can create photo's of themselves to pin to their mirrors. Wow, look how good I can look in that totally not real picture. I'll bet that I can do that in real life!"

Nonsense!

Is there anyway to complain to such a huge conglomerate that this "feature" of theirs is positively revolting and actually have our complaints heard?

Apple? Pear? Bananas? Why do we think of ourselves as fruit?

2007-10-12T01:13:00.000-04:00

"Reclining Produce" image from http://www.reallybent.blogspot.com a fantastic sister blog to http://bentobjects.blogspot.com with the works of an artist who uses all sorts of every day items to create sculptures that are sure to put a smile on your face.

I think the title "peared" with the picture says it all.

Have you ever noticed that we seem to spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to fruit?

You may think that I am a little "nutty" but I like to think that there is more to me than seeds, skin and some natural sugars (although I like to think that I am pretty darn sweet!).

So I set my mind to it. Why am I using fruit to only describe my body type? Isn't only describing the external just as silly as what I am using to compare it to?

Maybe I should say my heart is like a persimmon. Hard on the outside and sort of gooey and mushy on the inside. My brain is like a kiwi. Covered with hair and full of lots of seeds, most of which will just be ignored.

We can continue to extend this analogy well outside of our own bodies. My relationship with my family can best be described as bananas. My best friend would say I am nuts. Loads of people who do not know me overly well would say I am berry, berry nice. My great grandmother used to call me a peach. There are some days I feel like passion fruit, ,and other days I want to hide under the blankets because it is more of an ugly fruit day.

There are days where I feel like a medlar, and others where I am a real prickly pear. Often I head out to look for plum bargains with my blackberry to keep "currant". My car is a total lemon. We blow rasberries at babies (I never understood that. Then we get mad at them when they spit at people!)

Of course, all of us were born with that little cherry and often feel like a bit of a horned melon.

So stop using fruit to try to figure out how to describe your external, and start working on the fruit salad of your life!

Gee thanks

2007-10-11T18:05:00.000-04:00

I was down at the Eatons Centre this afternoon. I was finally done with the errands I had to do while I was downtown. I bought a water and sat down on a bench to get my stuff sorted out and to get out a bus token. There was another guy sitting on the bench, but it was one of those huge, backless benches and so space was not an issue and we were not facing each other.

After sitting for a minute and getting myself in order and together, I realzie that through a pause in the music on my ipod I hear this really smooth voice (think midnight shift dj on a pillow talk radio show or something".

"Your HUUUUUGE. You are SOOOOOO FAT. Oh my gosh, you are just HUUUUUUUUUUGE."

Now, I gotta tell you, on most days I would have been humiliated and totally burst in to tears, but I happen to know I look good today. I am wearing a stylish outfit and my jewelery is to die for. For get just looking good for me, something about what I am seeing in mirrored elevator doors is saying "Damn you look good!".

So for whatever reason I looked right at him and replied.

"Your SUUUUUUUUUUUCH and IDIOT. You have ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERO social grace. Oh my gosh I'll bet that compensating for a TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINY penis by insulting random strangers must be a HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE strain."

Ok, so I think I came out the winner in this story, but it still begs the question. Why in the world would someoen think that sort of behavious is in any way appropriate? It was not a child who has not yet learned to know better. It did not look like it was someone who was not in proper control of their faculties (although clearly they had lost the reins to their brain and mouth). I have no way of really knowing, but I suspect that people would not up to somone with, say, a missing finger and say "whoah, your hand is soooooooooooo wierd". So what gives? Why is it okay to insult the way I look because for whatever reason it does not jive with your personal taste? You don't like the way I look? DON'T LOOK AT ME!!! Buddy, I know I am sort of hard to look around, but I am sure if you work hard at it you can mange it...

I am still dwelling on it (even though I know I shouldn't be and that damn! I look good today) but all in all I suspect my comeback was a bit to much of a shock for his little dingaling. He did stop being insulting and just sat there open-mouthed while I finished getting my bags and token in order calmly and got up and walked away.

Ladies, please, keep those girls high!

2007-10-08T22:17:00.000-04:00

Lets talk boobs.

I think that we can all agree that they are certainly not "once size fits all". We all know there are all sort of boobs. There are the beach-ball boobs... those who seem to be overinflated and you wonder if they could be used as a flotation device. There are tiny little "boobettes" that you are not sure are really there. There are, what my sister calls "bullet tits" that look like they are trying to fly off women's chests to chase down those who dare look in their direction.

Now, I know for me this is one of the major clothing issues in my life. Nothing says "forgot to look in a mirror" louder than more than the girls looking in a different direction than you! Nothing will make you feel better, prettier, sexier, and more ready to face the world than getting those girls into the right spot with a good fitting bra. You will not believe the difference a properly fitting bra will make to the way your clothes fit and drape.

Now, I know that with our limited booty-licious stores here in Toronto this is easier said than done. However, there are now an abundance of online options for the "gifted" women amongst us, and yes, there are even a number of them that will ship to Canada.

So how do you know what size you need? A, B, D, GG, 42, 44, 62? What the heck do all those numbers mean? Seems like you need a PhD in math to buy properly fitting underwear nowadays! Well, I am going to attempt to explain some of the mystery behind bra shopping and some of the numbers, letters and features you should be looking for.

All you really need is 2 measurements and grade 1 math.

1. Get a soft tape measure. The longer, the better. It is a lot easier if you do this with a friend who you trust not to tickle you, but it can certainly be done on your own in front of a mirror.

2. Measure around your ribcage just under where your bra should end. You want to go around your back so that the tape is about an inch below your shoulder blades doing your best to keep the measuring tape level. Add 5 inches. Round up so that you have an even number. That is your bra size

ribcage measurement = 38 inches

3. Add 5 inches to the number from step 2

add 5 inches = 43 inches

4. If it is an odd number round up.

round up to an even number = 44 inches

5. This makes the band size needed a 44. Now lets find the cup size.

6. Measure around the fullest part of your bust and around the back doing your best to keep the tape level.

bust at fullest part = 48 inches

7. Subtract the number you got in step 4 from the number you got in step 6.

48 inches -44 inches =4 inches

8. Each inch is equal to one full cup size. So a 4 inch difference is equivalent to a DD/E cup size

If the difference is:	0"	1"	2"	3"	4"	5"	6"	7"	8"	9"	10"
your cup size is:	A	B	C	D	DD/E	DDD	F	FF	G	H	I

9. Final bra size, 44DD/E

A couple of other things to look for.

A wide back strap with a number of hooks going across will help spread the weight of a heavy bust across your back. It may not look glamorous, but your back will thank you for it at the end of the day.
Good, solid shoulder straps will go along way to giving you that "perky" look. If you feel like you have particularly heavy breasts, go for a wide, cushioned strap. Keeping those straps comfortable and in the right place is key to making sure you get the silhouette you are looking for.
Colour counts! Think of what shirt you are planning to wear. Believe it or not, skin colour looks better under white than white does. Why not wear a brilliant red under a black shirt and really catch peoples attention by letting it show at the neckline?

Buying a bra the right size really will make an enormous difference in how you see yourself and how you present yourself to other people.

Please, I am begging you, for your own sake (not to mention your back, your shirts and your admirers) keep those girls where they belong!

Trying to buy online?

2007-10-03T01:08:00.000-04:00

For those of us not in the US dealing with shipping from online shopping can be a nightmare and a half. If you manage find a place that has reasonable cross border shipping, and knows how to do the customs paper work, and is actually willing to do it there is still the issues of cross border returns to deal with.

As we are all very well aware there is absolutely no consistency in any clothing sizing (and I firmly believe that this is true across all size ranges as I know my tiny 3 year old has clothes ranging from 6-12 months to 5 years), so can we ever risk buying online knowing the headaches that a return risks?

Numbers.

It is very important to know your actual measurements and not just the size you like to wear. Most clothing manufacturers will have a sizing chart with the dimensions of their sizes clearly listed.

I know, I know. So what does that mean to me. There are those amongst us that have absolutely no idea what our measurements are. Why would we? What difference does it make? Either it fits, or it doesn't!

So is there an easy way to get the measurements that you need without trying to fumble with wrapping yourself up like a mummy or involving another party? Yep. And it starts with your favorite clothes.

Go to your closet and pick out your the blouse, shirt, skirt, and pants that fit you the best. The pieces that you put on when you want to feel great. Lie them out flat on your bed. Get the measurements of each one (for pants and skirts just get the width across the front and then double it). Don't forget to measure the length on skirts, sleeves, inseams, pants, etc. Write it all down somewhere you will be able to find it in the future (for me that is keeping a file on my computer that is up to date for each of my family members).

There you have it. An easy, no fuss, way to get measurements for clothes that will fit you the way you want them to.

Maximum Woman

2007-10-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

Ok what really pushed me to start this blog was finding a gem of a store that I am reasonably certain none of my curvy friends know about. It is an absolute dream of a store, filled with stylish and modern clothing in a range of sizes for the vast majority of us.

I first found out about Maximum from a small add in the free paper that you can pick up at TTC stations. I figured that it would be more of the same fuddy-duddy clothing that I was seeing all over the place, but since it had a website listed I thought that it was worth at least looking at the website. I tore out the add, shoved it into my purse and promptly forgot about it.

A few weeks later I was looking for something in my purse and out fell the add. I was at my computer so I decided to take a look.

I was blown away by some of the clothes! This was not my grandmother's closet.

Fun and modern seems to be the name of the game in this small, privately owned store. They carry a large selection of fashionable clothing in sizes from 14 to 34 with brand names like just blu, b&lu, and other high styling labels. It gets even better in that they actually display their clothes on plus size models! I could actually get a reasonable idea of what these things would look like ON ME!

So after spending hours looking through their website a number of times, I finally dragged myself out there. I got there to find a hole in the wall store, dusty from construction, and crowded with racks and racks of clothing that I could pick from. The sales woman welcomed me warmly, asked if I had anything particular in mind, and then let me wander around to my heart's content taking clothes I picked up to set them aside in one of their, incredibly generously sized, fitting room.

I think I picked up 15 pieces of clothing, and each one was available in my size, right there on the rack, no questions asked. As I tried pieces on the sales woman was chatty and friendly and more than happy to either run for a different size or give me her feedback on what worked and what did not.

Wow wouldn't feel like a diva in their Diva Satin Gown?

I left with a new skirt a dress on order (I wanted it in a colour no longer in stock so they offered to try to gt it in for me) and a promise to return.

Maximum Woman is a well rounded (no pun intended) store and carries a huge line of bridal and prom wear, as well as lingerie, undergarments, workout, casual and work wear, swimsuits, and a beautiful selection of denim that is not currently displayed on their website. Add to this reasonable prices, reasonable shipping and the ability to pay by paypal as well as traditional methods and this store easily earns its 5 stars! immediately became a

Maximum Woman

3801 Dundas St.W
Toronto,ON, M6S 2T4

Phone: 416-767-7007
Email: maximumwoman@gmail.com

http://www.maximumwoman.c.om

Ok, now for a real hello.

2007-09-30T23:26:00.002-04:00

Hi there,

Welcome to what will hopefully become a new home for those of us outside the standard "beauty" mold. I know there are a number of blogs that never really took off for plus size women in the GTA, but the plan is for this one to be different! I hope this will become a one stop shop for everything from where to shop for beautiful clothes and be treated to wonderful sales staff, to where to go in case of size discrimination and how to make our needs and wants heard amongst the voices of those who silence us.

Ok, well that is enough about the why's and what's, now how about the Who?

I am a daughter, a sister a wife and a mother. I am a teacher, a jeweler, an event planner and a secretary. I am now overly short and not overly tall. I have brown hair and green eyes. I like black and purple and blue. I also like pink. I do not like yellow. I am a university graduate. I am friendly and social. I love to wear funky clothes and jewelery, and if I can not find what I want I will make it myself. I like to travel. I have sisters and brothers and aunts and uncles and cousins. Lots of them. I am also fat.

F-A-T.

Wow, I never really use that word. Chubby, fluffy, round, large, big, curvy... those are all really just other words for fat. So why does that single word carry such negative connotations?

Clearly I am not trying to hide who I am. You just look at me and you know. People do not meet me and think I am a tiny tinkerbell until I use the word and then go "OH MY GOSH!!! She is HUGE and I never would have noticed if she hadn't said anything!"

One of the thing I hope to explore in this blog is why that word scares so many people. Why is it that word freaks out both fat and thin people alike?

Well I guess I am sort of going to leave you hanging on that one because I have absolutely no idea. I guess you will just have to come back and read more :)

Hi All

2007-09-30T19:47:00.001-04:00

Just getting up and running. If you are here, welcome! Please check back soon for updates!