Monday, May 5, 2008

And now, another note on happy bra moments

Ok, so after 5 or so years I finally decided it was time to get my various body parts in gear and find the money to get me some new bras. Figured I would just go online and order me up some new ones the same as the old ones, just substantially less stretched out of shape.

Went to my drawer to grab an old faithful so I could get the info from the tag. Um... ooops... the ones in my drawer were so old the tags had gone blank. Ok, so as I was going to be completely pulling numbers out of thin air, I should probably just go to a store to find one that fits, thne use that size.

I figured it would be pretty straightforward. Went in to the store, grabbed a couple right around my guesstimate of size. Headed for the change room. Now, I certainly knew pretty much what size I was. I knew what I wanted. I knew where to go. Right? Well, okay, how bad is 0/3 really...?

Store 1. Picked what I thought my size was. Discovered that I could fit a whole 'nother set of boobs in there! Went down a size. Nope. Still way too much room even when things were adjusted to their smallest.

You know what the problem is with bra shopping? If you pick up a whole pile that turn out to be no-goes, you need to get completely dressed again in order to leave the stupid little cubby-hole they call a dressing room!

Ok, so out I go again. Grab a bunch more in a substantially smaller size that I anticipated.

Turns out that I size I *thought* I needed were actually 2 cup sizes and 4 inches bigger than I needed. No wonder the old ones were doing diddly-squat!

Ok, so I finally settled on a size with no buckling, no gabs, no spillage, and of course, no underwire. I hate underwire. Right. Well, unfortunately something still did not look quite right. No matter how well the bra fit, it was still sort of giving me that "uni-boob" look once I put on a t-shirt.

Ok, so we are now 0/4. Funny, but did you know that underwire is actually there for a reason? Who knew?

Ok, so 4 stores and almost $50 later I finally have 1 grandma-beige, 2 sizes smaller than I thought, underwired bra.

But boy did the girls look great! It is amazing how much better your clothes look when your chest is on your chest instead of tucked into to your waistband! I was happy.

Well, happy-ish. 1 bra does not a lingerie wardrobe make.

So as soon as I got home I went online and ordered 6 more, same size, from an online vendor with a much better price. I got red, pink, black, white, granny beige (sometimes, you just need them) and turquoise.

So, in the interm I have been wearing the one new one (and one older one that looks great but cuts off circulation in my ribcage when I wear it... I need to do laundry sometime though!) I rediscovered something I had totally forgotten about. Boning.

Boning - that stupid piece of plastic on the side of a bra designed to "help it lay flat" which actually serves to stab you repeatedly in the armpit all day long while constantly rolling up into a snail-like position that eats into the side of your torso until you want to fix it in public and John Q. Public be damned... ooops sorry for that little rant. I really, really hate boning).

Ok, so now I was all worried about will the new ones I ordered off line have the same problem. Did I just spend a bunch of money that I can on really afford to spend on bras that will spend the next 5 years digging in to my ribcage.

They got here today and guess what? NO BONING!

It never ceases to amaze me how small a thing it takes to truly make me giddy with pleasure.

Ok, so I could just have removed the boning, but who want to go to all the trouble taking apart new things and making them feel used... loses something for me.


American Made Jewelry said...

Boning be damned! I loved your bra story. Ann Lee sent me here! I'll be back for sure.

Anna Lee said...

Hi! I really like your blog. Check out my article PhonyArt Isn't Phony At All!" on one of my Blogger web logs. Hopefully I'll get around to featuring more of your creations over time.
Anna Lee in Oshawa