Monday, October 8, 2007

Ladies, please, keep those girls high!

Lets talk boobs.

I think that we can all agree that they are certainly not "once size fits all". We all know there are all sort of boobs. There are the beach-ball boobs... those who seem to be overinflated and you wonder if they could be used as a flotation device. There are tiny little "boobettes" that you are not sure are really there. There are, what my sister calls "bullet tits" that look like they are trying to fly off women's chests to chase down those who dare look in their direction.

Now, I know for me this is one of the major clothing issues in my life. Nothing says "forgot to look in a mirror" louder than more than the girls looking in a different direction than you! Nothing will make you feel better, prettier, sexier, and more ready to face the world than getting those girls into the right spot with a good fitting bra. You will not believe the difference a properly fitting bra will make to the way your clothes fit and drape.

Now, I know that with our limited booty-licious stores here in Toronto this is easier said than done. However, there are now an abundance of online options for the "gifted" women amongst us, and yes, there are even a number of them that will ship to Canada.

So how do you know what size you need? A, B, D, GG, 42, 44, 62? What the heck do all those numbers mean? Seems like you need a PhD in math to buy properly fitting underwear nowadays! Well, I am going to attempt to explain some of the mystery behind bra shopping and some of the numbers, letters and features you should be looking for.

All you really need is 2 measurements and grade 1 math.

1. Get a soft tape measure. The longer, the better. It is a lot easier if you do this with a friend who you trust not to tickle you, but it can certainly be done on your own in front of a mirror.

2. Measure around your ribcage just under where your bra should end. You want to go around your back so that the tape is about an inch below your shoulder blades doing your best to keep the measuring tape level. Add 5 inches. Round up so that you have an even number. That is your bra size

ribcage measurement = 38 inches

3. Add 5 inches to the number from step 2

add 5 inches = 43 inches

4. If it is an odd number round up.

round up to an even number = 44 inches

5. This makes the band size needed a 44. Now lets find the cup size.

6. Measure around the fullest part of your bust and around the back doing your best to keep the tape level.
bust at fullest part = 48 inches

7. Subtract the number you got in step 4 from the number you got in step 6.

48 inches -44 inches =4 inches

8. Each inch is equal to one full cup size. So a 4 inch difference is equivalent to a DD/E cup size

If the difference is: 0" 1" 2" 3" 4" 5" 6" 7" 8" 9" 10"
your cup size is: A B C D DD/E DDD F FF G H I

9. Final bra size, 44DD/E

A couple of other things to look for.
  • A wide back strap with a number of hooks going across will help spread the weight of a heavy bust across your back. It may not look glamorous, but your back will thank you for it at the end of the day.
  • Good, solid shoulder straps will go along way to giving you that "perky" look. If you feel like you have particularly heavy breasts, go for a wide, cushioned strap. Keeping those straps comfortable and in the right place is key to making sure you get the silhouette you are looking for.
  • Colour counts! Think of what shirt you are planning to wear. Believe it or not, skin colour looks better under white than white does. Why not wear a brilliant red under a black shirt and really catch peoples attention by letting it show at the neckline?
Buying a bra the right size really will make an enormous difference in how you see yourself and how you present yourself to other people.

Please, I am begging you, for your own sake (not to mention your back, your shirts and your admirers) keep those girls where they belong!

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