Thursday, February 14, 2008

Breakthrough Moment

So yesterday I had a really busy day and it was 4 o'clock before I realized that I had not eaten all day and I was starving. I was at a subway station and facing 45 minutes on the subway before a 15 minute walk home.

I stopped at the Gateway shop at Warden station and bought, horror of horrors, an orange juice and a bag of potato chips (hey, when you keep strictly kosher and can not eat dairy there are not a whole lot of healthy subway station options).

Being a fat girl and not wanting anyone to decide to randomly tell me how awful I was for eating, especially junk food, in public I shoved the stuff into my purse.

I got on the subway (ok, Warden Station has to be the only place in the city where you need to go UP 2 flights of steps to get to the subway) and tried to open things as quietly as possible so no one would notice. Eating out of my purse.

I kept looking around as if waiting to see who would "catch" me.

Want to know something? No one was looking at me at all! No one cared what the hell anyone else was doing. We were all caught up in staring out into space and trying not to make eye contact with anyone.

Believe it or not I am not the centre of everyones world. I know! Who would have thunk it? No one, and I mean NO ONE was looking at me and thinking how awful I was. In fact no one was looking at me at all!

What a rush.

So if I combine this with the shmuck who insulted me at the Eaton's Centre a few months ago, we learn that apparently only lonely losers with nothing better to do go around staring at strangers and trying to figure out how to insult them.


Peri said...

I think you should never prevent yourself from just "being you" and eat as you please. If someone wants to crack a comment they can just bug off and get over their own problems!

Janice said...

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! And I agree. I sometimes feel very self conscious but the older I get the more I find two things to be true - first, very few people are really looking and second I don't care if they are! Who are they to me? No one. *shrug* The older I get the less I seem to care and its quite liberating! :)

happyduck1979 said...

thanks :)