Friday, April 25, 2008


Someone on my friend's list on my regular life blog just put up a post based on an article on a MONEY site, about what if no one were fat and how we would all be much more financially secure. This is a person who has a number of medical conditions that many people do not recognize as "real" conditions (Although I do) so you would think to know better. I should add I have tried to be supportive of her when she needed it, even going so far as to send her medication available here and not there and putting my own business liscences at risk to do so.

Obviously it would be highly inappropriate for me to repost a private post here, but the gist of it, is.

She says that she does not "understand that whole "feminist fat pride" movement". She comments that "It just freaks me out that a group of people can be so determined to be unhealthy".

She goes on to compare being fat to smoking. Talks about how heaven forbid anyone should be allowed to say anything about a fat person encroaching on your space on an airplane. But it is okay... she finished with "some of my best friends/family/etc are..."

Well, surprise, surprise I could not keep myself from leaving a comment.

I have no idea why you decided to post on this, but it is similar to me saying in my journal that (her various issues) is all in people's heads without having ever lived through it. Lots of articles have been written about that too. If they would only stop making excuses for why they can not hold regular jobs...

Your comparison to smoking is is both insulting and wrong. Obesity affects me and how people see me. I am not forcing anything on you.
Being near a smoker affects everyone around them. There is no such thing as 2nd hand fat.

How is a person taking up more space on an airplane is something almost every single person on the flight does. Ever recline your seat? Well now you are in the space of the person behind you. Use an armrest? Fall asleep leaning to one side?

Since when is an airline, out to make money by craming as many people into a small space as possible, our arbiter of what is the right size for a human being? If tomorrow they decide that they should narrow the seats a little more so that women with hips of any sort no longer fit, would that just mean giving birth should disqualify you from flying without paying for a 2nd seat? How about a family member who is almost 7 feet tall? Should he be disqualified because of the lack of legroom? Forced to fly first lass? I'll tell you, I flew for the first time in ages in December after years of voices like the one you raise in this article scaring the shit out of me, and you want to know something? I sat by the window. I "fit" fine, and my tiny 4 year old was into the next seat as she fell asleep leaning over.

And people are not proud of the fat itself. We are proud of who they are and that we can love ourselves and accept ourselves regaurdless of size. Something many people overlook. I am learning slowly that I *AM* both fat and fabulous. I have spent a lifetime being told how I was no good because I am fat. Believing that I did not deserve nice clothes, or a boyfriend, or anything else. Guess what, neither you not my family are going to make me feel badly anymore for who I am and the shape God has made me.

Grrrrrrrrrr. Am I out of line or do I have a right to find this annoying?


Kal said...

I thought the post was written very well. I don't think your out of line, what she said hurt your feelings and you respectively stated your opinion. We as fat people deserve to feel as good about ourselves as anyone else! :)

happyduck1979 said...


I just do not understand how "Don't take things so personally" applies when someone takes a direct stab at how I live my life!

Kal said...

I agree, I read your post about it to, and i feel the same way. Some people can just be that ignorant and not care about who their hurting. I wonder if they were ever taught the "if you don't have anything nice to say [kept your gob f-ing shut]" :D

Or they think that because their "intentions" were good that it's not as insulting... but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

wow i kinda wonder why I'm all old phrases/proverbs today... hmm?

happyduck1979 said...

Just seems that sort of day. I found myself telling my daughter this morning that "all clouds have a silver lining" and wondered when I had started channeling my great grandmonther!

Kal said...

lol. I love that phrase.